Sympathy Pain

I have a thing for “s” names…I guess. The 3 great loves of my adult life all had names that begin with “s”.

So…you might ask…is that a pun?

This is more of a warning. I remember it happening with my ex-wife. We were having an argument. It was just probably a year or 2 into the marriage. Have no idea what the fight was about, but then it happen.

“Shhh…”, came out of my mouth…my brain kicked in.

“Danger! Danger Will Robinson! That’s not the right sound for the beginning of your wife’s name! Abort!”

“…it” was what I finished with. I am so incredibly quick on my feet. Smooth under pressure. I’m sure she didn’t catch that.

“Um…did you almost call me Shannon?” Her name was not Shannon…nor did an “h” following the beginning “s”. The fight did not get any better.

Flash forward a decade. Bryan is older, wiser…but just as bad with names as ever.

I was telling Sarah about a conversation with my ex- about Jack “Yeah, we were talking about Jack,” everything seemed fine, “and I said ‘Sarah…’” Damn it! I see Sarah walking away as I repeatedly say I’m sorry. I’d like to say it’s the first time I’ve done it…but no. I’m just a dumb ass.

So, my advice. Only date women that have the same name. Or, choose woman with vastly different beginning letters. Or, become extremely proficient at the use of pronouns.

Or just admit you’re human and hope that your significant other embraces your mental retardation. I mean, she had other options and new you were only slightly smarter than a rain gutter when she married you.