Sympathy Pain

My ex- and I get along pretty well. We share in Jack’s needs and wants. There are times we butt heads, usually falling into old patterns that caused the divorce to begin with. At other times, we are a united front. Here’s examples of both…within a 24 hour time period.

I dropped Jack of Sunday night, after a very full weekend of sports and family. He had no homework, which was awesome. However, not 3 minutes after leaving her house, she called me.

“Why didn’t he read his book? I sent it in his book bag.”

So I tried to explain that he had read other things, and she began to dove into my not being responsible for his education needs, and I…and so on. It was really kinda ridiculous. Not what the argument was about, but that the argument happened at all. It should have taken 5 minutes with the agreement being made that I would make sure reading books are considered homework and her agreeing that she needs to be clear about things I may not know since she is the primary care giver. But, it was 30 minutes of accusing and pseudo name calling. I guess 9 years of marriage will leave a few sore spots that take just a small verbal bomb to set off.

So the next night, After I had called to tell him goodnight, I was on the couch, feeding Tony, and the phone rings…as it does when your hands are full. It was the ex-
“Gotta second?”

I figured she was either still steamed about the book or going to apologize for the conversation.

“I’m feeding Tony, but yeah.”

“I’m going to talk to Jack’s principle and insist that he be taken out of this teacher’s class.” Hmmm, thinks I.

“What happened?”

“Well, he was asked to complete a math question on the board and got it wrong. It was the only one he got wrong out of the ten on his paper. The teacher, in front of the class, said ‘He didn’t belong in second grade’.”

My jaw hit the floor. Who says that? What kind of person says that to a 7 year old. He was crushed. He spent all last night saying he wasn’t smart enough to be in second grade. Now, he has an ‘A’ in math, and most of his grades are ‘B’s or high ‘C’s.

“Do you want me to come up?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t know if I can get a definitive time for a meeting, and you are almost an hour away. If I can, I’ll let you know and you can come up.”

“Well, do what you have to do. That’s not ok to say. If the principle won’t do anything, let me know and we can take other actions.” I was pissed, and so was she. We had a common enemy. We’ll see what happens

I guess that’s the way it will be. Their will be times when we go toe to toe over things, mainly because of our past, and others where we will be willing to go shoulder to shoulder.