Sympathy Pain

We went to the OB today. Sarah is at 39 weeks. She’s past ready to have the baby. Today we talk about induction, according to the doctor last week.

I started thinking about what my job was as the guy at the OB. I perused some magazines and tried to find something other than an add to read. I read parts of the articles to Sarah. They were ridiculous at times. I made obligitory eye contact with the 2 other men in the waiting room. I tried to figure out the flower arrangement in the middle of the room…to no avail.

It’s my job to get up when her name is called, only to set back down when they want her only for the weigh in an pee test. More magazine flipping, and a few more nods of the heads to fellow dads-to-be. I know I’m not alone when I see them.

She comes back out. I greet her with a smile and a magazine from ‘82. We wait some more. Read about St. Louis beating the Brewers in the World Series and Micheal Jackson releasing “Thriller”.

We get called back. I check out the room while she gets “prepared”. It’s now my job to check out the smelling sauce taped to the light switch…check. Make sure they have a poster of the inner workings of my lady friend…check. See if there is a used glove laying behind the “bio-hazard” trash…check. All seems in order.

We wait some more. I now have to fill the quite time with humor. Today, it was pee and poop jokes and “Team America, World Police” references. All the time she is covered in a sheet, with feet in stirrups.

The doctor comes in. I try to say something witty, but I know that this man is about to stick his arm up in my wife. I laugh at his wit and listen intently to stories of woman dying in the last century because the baby wouldn’t deliver and they had no c-section or induction. They would push for days before the doctor used the forceps to help? Interesting. Great story to tell a mother-to-be.

I watch the exam from behind my wife. They talk about what’s happening. There’s a female nurse present, to insure no sexual harassment. We are both just kinda there.

“Well, you’re still 2 cm, but your much softer and 75% effaced.”

“I’m ready to have this baby out of me.”

“Well, I won’t let it go past 5 days over due…so we’ll induce next Thursday if you haven’t started yet”

This is when I dont know what to do. I can see it in her face. That’s 9 days away. She was hoping to look at tomorrow or even the weekend. I can feel her whole energy change. She’s so tired, and just wants the baby out. No amount of wit from me will help. No amount of good vibes or stroking her hair. She’s just, in that moment, done. What do I do?

We go home, it’s quite. Her body is just tired and sore. She only says a couple words. I can’t imagine what she feels. I’m tired and I don’t have a parasite growing in me, taking most of my resources. All I can think of is to say,

“I love you”

ob/gyn