It’s hard…
Last year, my son went through a really hard period with spelling homework. Never with myself or Sarah, by he would, for lack of a better phrase, attack his mom. It was hard to listen to him over the phone throwing these tantrums. A couple times, I went up to get him, which really was not either one of us wanted to happen.
It got better and seemed to go away as school continued. His grades got better and he settled into a nice groove. It was, however, very frightening. What if it continued, what to do? My ex thought it might be medical. I thought possible family therapy. It never came to that.
I guess, I grew up before the “huggy, feel good therapy” 80’s or “mood altering prescription drug” 90’s. It’s hard to grasp anything more than discipline being the answer to behavior problems. I had, however, accepted these other avenues as options. I have no way of helping out when he’s not here. I can’t do anything, so I guess I hoped family therapy or medical help would fill in where I couldn’t. I talked to his teacher, hoping I could impress on her what I needed someone to know. I wanted to help, but had no idea how too. The behavior never surfaced here. My hands are tied with things that happen there but not here.
So, his spelling grades are not in the passing range for the first 3 weeks. We did homework last night, and he scored an 85 on a mock spelling test. He stayed realitivly focused. Great.
I get a call at 5:00 telling me not to come to football practice because he had failed some papers today because he didn’t do the back of the page, and he had to set in the “yellow corner” in class. He socred a 65 on the mock test at her house. I could hear him shouting in the background…it froze me all over again..
August 24th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Hang in there. It’s the first couple of weeks of school and kids-especially little ones have to retest the boundaries all over again. Erin pulls things with me that she doesn’t with her Dad. Just be sure all three of you are on the same page with him on expectations and behavior. It’ll get better.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:21 am
I wonder if everyone shouldn’t try doing homework together just once? That way, a consistent pattern could be developed and carried into both homes. Just a thought.
August 24th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
[...] you haven’t been to Bryan’s site today, he wrote last night about something that plagued him since last Wednesday, and this same issue has [...]
August 25th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I think the idea of everyone doing homework together is brillant. It will show him that everyone is unified and totally on the same page. I know when I taught I wished more parents could work together like you all do.Good luck.
August 28th, 2007 at 11:58 am
It happens to the best of us. I do homework every afternoon of the school year with at least 15 kids at a time (and then a little bit later in the afternoon, two kids) so I have seen some crazy stuff.
You’re right, parenting has evolved quite a bit. I tend to favor fire and brimstone myself, but I think its main fault is that it treats the effect, not the cause which is a big problem when it comes to tempertantrums. If the cause is always spelling, talk to teachers and other parents and see if there is a program or a place (like Sylvan) that can help him for awhile. They should have more varied methods of teaching than he gets in school which could be the answer. Just an idea. =)