Sympathy Pain

When I die…please do not place a “in memoriam” in the back window of an F-150…especially with a nick name like “Big Poppa” or “Pappy”. I hope this is just a fad in the south. It’s just creepy in my eyes. I really don’t want that. Also, what does it do to the resale value? What if your name is “Pappy”. Would you want to drive around a truck with your name and a death date on it?

Also, if, God forbid, I die in a roadside accident, don’t put a cross on the side of “Peachtree Ave” with my picture and a bunch of flowers. It’s really the picture that gets me. It’s just odd and, again, creepy. And, I don’t take a flattering picture, so people will have to remember me with that goofy photo pose I always do. And, it only gives dogs one more chance to piss on me.

Maybe this is morbid. I just want to comment on how incredibly non respective this seems to me. I know we all mourn in our own ways, and show respect to our loved ones in very personnel strides towards healing, but I think this “tomb stoning” your vehicle is a step too far. I also think that placing a photo/cross/memorial on the side of a high way is wrong. Both of these, while maybe well meaning in spirit, is the wrong place to grieve. Grieve privately. Grieve in proper places. And grieve without pulling me and everyone else you cut off on the parkway into it. AND…put out the cigarette, buckle in your toddler, and get you POS truck tuned up. Billy Bubba Beau Bob would rest better.

Just another Pet Peeve.

Wow. I am amazed almost daily at the amount of parents who don’t buckle their child in. I wish I had the power to call them in for a ticket. That would be awesome…they get a citation in the mail that starts…”Dear stupid breeder”.
Now, honestly I didn’t wear a seat belt regularly until I was 10 or 12, and the worse that happened to me was a broken jaw and a scar on my forhead. I mean, that was back in the 70’s and 80’s when children were tougher…I guess. But now, we know better.

But this kills me…I hope that was some good beer. Just another pet peeve of mine.

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. - Police have arrested a motorist they say had a 24-pack of beer strapped in with a seat belt but had a 16-month-old girl unrestrained in the back seat with the toddler’s mother.

Tina D. Williams was pulled over in St. Augustine on Sunday for allegedly running a red light.

A 24-pack of Busch beer was strapped in with the passenger-side seat belt, according to an arrest report. The girl was in the back seat with 20-year-old Amber Tedrick, who is the toddler’s mother.

Williams, 46, said she didn’t know why the child wasn’t restrained.

Williams refused to take a breath test and a deputy found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs in her purse, authorities said.

Williams was charged with driving under the influence, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving without a license, a jail official said. She remained in the St. Johns County jail Tuesday after bail was set at $31,000.

The jail did not have the name of her attorney. It was not clear if Tedrick would face any charges, but the child was released to her care, according to The Florida Times-Union.

3 million to go…

I feel a sort of vengeance as I read this. It felt as if I wasn’t just shouting in the wind. I have the law on my side…how often does that happen?

Police in Clearwater, Florida arrested 75-year-old Jean Merola because she wouldn’t pull her car forward at a McDonald’s drive-thru, despite being ordered to do so by an officer. She had ordered coffee and french fries and was waiting for them.
Merola said the McDonald’s employees told her to wait there for her food.

Merola was handcuffed behind her back and put in the cruiser.

Another officer arrived and took her to the Pinellas County Jail.

Merola said she was searched, photographed and fingerprinted.

Dear lady in drive through at McDonald’s…

Where to begin. There is so much I want to say to you. I guess first and foremost, please take the time to buy your 3 year old a child restraining seat. You might be able to concentrate on what’s happening around you if you don’t have mogli the jungle boy crawling around the inside of you POS cavalier. Also, I am pretty sure it is a law in 50 of the 50 states.

Having mentioned you cracked out vehicle, let me ask that you drive it off a cliff to help the environment. Aside from the noise of a dying elk, it had a pee green tinted smoke coming out of all of it’s little car orifices. I’m pretty sure this was from the car and not from you, but I couldn’t really tell, as my eyes where trying to swell shut from the toxic fumes.

Next, let me comment on your lack of any type of awareness or concern for those around you. I thought maybe between the cell phone, cigarette, and boy-ape, you were just overwhelmed. However, when you pulled forward, after receiving your food, just far enough to pump 100 cubic tons of your feel good gas into the window of McDonald’s, but not far enough to let the next customer get to said window, I realized you just had no respect for those around you. I am glad you took the 3 minutes to get all you shit right, finish your phone call, place your trash from the last fast food visit on the curb, and light up another fag, but those behind you might want their food and have places to be.

In closing, Thank you for showing me that the stereotypical ghetto trailer trash mom still exists and is thriving in Huntsville, AL. Not that I had much doubt, but I rarely have the pleasure of observing such a fine specimen so close up. I do ask that, next time, when you put on your good face and come into town with your offspring…god help him…that you eat before you leave your shanty.

Respectfully,
Me

So, i don’t know if you’ve been following this, but the New Zealand couple who were stopped from namimng their child “4Real” have come up with a new name…”Superman“.
Did they do this for love of Christopher Reeves? No. Did they do this because it’s a family name? No. Is it because this child is the great grandson of Joe Shuster? No…and who the hell is Joe Shuster anyway? I digress. They did it because the goverment nixed the first name. They are being pissy. I have no words. Why would you do that to your child?

Yet, when my words fail me, I turn to, twice now in the last 2 post, Dane Cook.

“i wanna go up to somebody wearin a superman shirt and like shoot em in the chest and when they bleed say: “guess not”

We have cats…you might have picked up on that. 2 cats, 2 dogs. I’ve been told, by more than one old maid, that “cat’s will steal the baby’s breath.” Thanks Steven King for expounding on that in “Cat’s Eye” (Great story though).

The truth is that cat’s, while not 100% safe with newborns, aren’t sent from Lucifer to kill your baby. My wife does think they are demon spawn, but for other reasons.

Cats can be great companions for baby. My son has had a cat, Friday, since he was born. Friday would always check out whoever was holding Jack when he was little. Friday slept with jack all the time. He still sleeps with Jack, who is now seven. Jack has learned to be more gentle with animals thanks to his cats.

Now, NEVER leave them alone when the baby is little. Cats love the smell of milk on the baby’s breath (leading to the “steal the breath” myth) and will snuggle up, with no regards to the infants need to breath.

So don’t get rid of Garfield because you are bring home a baby. Also, pregnancy is not the best time to get a pet. So use your common sense about pets and babies. I really think people who grow up with pets make better adults.

Here’s a link to an article about bring baby home to a home with a cat.

Ok…so I’m opinionated. If not, I wouldn’t be writing a blog. And I am quick to notice things, especially when they get on my nerve. So every once and a while I’ll throw in one of my pet peeves. Something will set me off, and I will write.

So here’s my first. Tonight, in the Target, my wife and I are looking at the HUGE selection of Jelly Bellies…which are amazing, by the way, and it happened.

“This one is exactly $3.50″ a young boy of about 8 said. It actually made us chuckle because it sounded so cute.

“This one is exactly $3.50″, ok, still a little cute.

“this one is exactly $3.50″

“this one is exactly $3.50″

“Mom, this one is exactly $3.50.” Well, at least he changed it up. And mom was standing right against him.

“This one is exactly $3.50″ Okay, at this point I have to tell you that my 7 year old does the same thing. He will repeat until someone recognizes him verbally. I try to do this early and remind him that we don’t always have to verbally acknowledge every comment he makes. His mother never really understood the meaning of “rhetorical”…even when she made the comment that was rhetorical in nature. So, he comes by it genetically.

“This one is exactly $3.50″ by this time we are leaving the area. The mom had no phone, could her daughter fine, just didn’t seem to tune into her son at all.

So, two fold gripe.
1) Don’t ignore your child.
2) Teach them that just because you don’t respond the first or second time doesn’t mean you didn’t hear them…and don’t ignore you child.

This is almost a two edged sword, I realize, but they really do go hand in hand.