Sympathy Pain

Can’t do it with a butter knife.

We had friends over tonight. They have an amazing 16 month old boy. I’ve always felt a little bond with this one. He’s a cutie.
We also had Jack tonight. I rarely get to see him with a little one in this house. Usually we are at another house when this type of interaction occurs. It was really weird to see him in his element with another little one. He was very sweet with the little one…he always is. But I also noticed him just doing stuff to get attention. He was scrubbing his way across the floor on his butt, asking if “a normal person would do this”. I could see that the only child in him was screaming to get attention, but the gentle little boy he is was also there making sure Matthew had a good time…letting him play with his toys, helping him around, and showing off the animals. It was just a foreshadowing.
I also saw me being torn between the 2. It was the first time, in this house, that I had to split my time between 2 children. It was a little strange. Again, Jack is old enough and good natured enough to understand…now, with a guest. It will be curious to see if that good natured self wins out over the only child side. And if I can recognize how to split my time and when to merge us as a family.
And on the Santa List front…I am getting up at 6:00 tomorrow to try to beat the crowd to get Jack a Wii. I have had the worst time finding one, but hopefully I can get one tomorrow at one of the Thanksgiving sales. It’s like getting a freak-in tickle me Elmo or cabbage patch kid. Times…they have a changed.

I pick Jack up, and he is ready to go, telling me about who got in trouble at school, and the fine sport of cup stacking. I decide to start on the Christmas list while riding home. After a little coaching…he wants a Wii. I think Santa can handle that.

Jack has a bunch of homework…but we have fun doing it. He is working on a report about the Navajo…did you know they lived in “hogans”? Any way, I love doing homework with Jack. It’s something my folks really didn’t do…that I remember…and my grades in high school reflected that. I had great test grades, but no homework to speak of. I want to make sure Jack and Tony don’t fall into that trap.

Jack’s favorite place to eat on Wednesdays? Chick-Fil-A…cause they have a play ground. So off we go…after a wrestling match over the Whoppie Cushion.

Side note, every child needs a whoppie cushion! Get one that has a foam insert so it re inflates by itself. You can also use it for a training device for your pets. They hate them. One good squeeze to the face and they are gone.

So after dinner, the three of us head north to his other home. After the hand off, and discussion about homework and sports, my bride and I head home.

Wednesday’s are great…and then kinda sucky. It’s hard to watch him grow up every wednesday afternoon and every other weekend.

Since the beginning of time, kids tune into which parent plays what roles and prey on that. Who will say yes to ice cream? Who will say yes to a sleep over? Who will say yes to a week in Amsterdam at an opium din? It happens. I did it. I watched my sister do it. It was different for each. I could do no wrong in my Mom’s eyes…not that I ever did. My sister is my Dad’s child.
(more…)

What’s Halloween like in the Comer/Brown House? Well, this year it’s on a Wednesday. That’s my day with Jack. So, I offered to get his costume and get him ready for the evening. I picked him up after school, around 3:15. We stopped by the store to get safety pins and a trick and treat bag. Then on to the house to do homework and eat. Sarah got home, and we began the transformation. My little freckled face, blond haired boy became Jack-ula, the undead.

We went to the Baptist church up the street, to their Trunk-or-treat. This was Sarah’s first experience with the boy on Halloween, and her first Trunk-or-Treat. This church does it up right, with 5 inflatable play forts/slides. They also had about 20 cars decorated and giving candy out at each. It’s a great option for the 8 and under crowd. It’s a great way to enjoy Halloween in a safe, controlled way.

I do have to say at this point, some people should have a personal costume cop at there house. One lady, at this church function, showed more breast than I saw at my bachelor party. I’m not really sure who or what she was supposed to be. But nice ta tas. And…Super Girl, without the super abs. I wanted to buy her a body suit.

After 45 minutes, we traveled to bio-mom’s house. She lives in a sub division that does Halloween right. People park at the mouth of the sub division, and but the dozens, walk through. Some have flatbed hay rides. A bunch of the house are decked out with Halloween decorations. Jack was off with his friend to finish the trick or treating…without me.

Sarah and I went home, tried to give out some candy, and plopped on the coach to watch Gordon Ramsey tear an Indian restaurant to shreds.

Not very “Leave it to Beaver” but Jack had an awesome night. It would have been easy to just let Jack hang with his mom, but I really enjoyed having Sarah help get him ready then see the “crazy boy” at Trunk or Treat. I think he also was able to get the best of both houses.

I’d love to say that every holiday in a split family is this easy…but it’s not. Just read Kimberly’s site.

Jack and I went to Pizza Hut last night. We have been playing the “blow the straw paper” game at restaurants all around town…What? Unfamiliar with this game? We made it up…

Well, you use your glasses, cups, mugs…whatever you are using from for the “goal”. Place it directly in front of you. Then, put the balled up straw paper in the middle…then start trying to blow the paper and hit your opponent’s cup…both blowing at the same time. It usually ends up with him laughing to the point of not being able to blow. And when the food comes…game over.

Last night, I taught him to play paper football and quarter basketball. Most people have played football. We used a napkin, which didn’t last long, but he got the jest. Coin basketball isn’t as well known, so here are the basics:
Using a coin…a quarter is preferred, you start with the quarter close to your body and thump it toward the other person so it spins. The closer to them, the better. They will create a “goal”, by shaping both hands, on the table, in a tunnel shape, using their body as a backboard. You catch the quarter, as it is spinning between your thumbs. You have to keep your fingertips on the table, and either slam or shoot the quarter to the goal. If you make it, 2 points. If not, 2 bad. The other side gets the ball either way. It sounds harder than it is…

We had a blast. It was a fun evening. And I got to teach my son some games that will get him through many a lunch at school.

Speaking of games…Eliza does a great job of reviewing “real” games and toys. Check it out.

My son is very excited about his little brother. I’ve been trying to get him ready…talking about the baby, having him help pick out the ceiling fan, etc. So when I heard there was a “Sibling Class”, I jumped on it. It seem’s like he was in diapers himself not to long ago.
Ok, I didn’t jump. It was more of a leap interrupted thanks to all the activities we are involved in. Even yesterday, it was a scheduling challenge to say the least. But we got there on time.
I figured it would be a little rudimentary, but I wanted to get him involved.

It was mostly aimed towards children under 5. He was slightly bored for most of the class. He did get to diaper…his Sneetch doll. We laughed alot about that. The Sneetch will stay in Tony’s room…without the diaper for now. He also colored in what he thought the baby would look like…blue eyes and red hair…alot like his own. We took a tour of the hospital and he was able to see a new born.

“When do they get to go home? when they can crawl?”
There will be nights that we wish that was the fact…but no. It did start some conversation between us, which was nice.

They had a “Molly” Puppet who had just gotten “a baby brother” Unfortunately the nurse in charge was no Cheri Lewis…but one of the kids asked if she was from Sesame Street. They puppet was the least effective part of the hour and a half class. Maybe I’ll try to get in touch with them and help out with that. See a need. Fill a need.

So, over all, the class was good for both of us. We got to be at the hospital, see the room Tony will be delivered in, see a little baby, and diaper a Sneetch. I think Dr. Seuss would approve…and then Jack went on to recover 4 fumbles and make several tackles in their 6th straight win of the season…

So if you have a little one, and our having another, go ahead and go to a “sibling class” at you local women’s clinic. It’s a good chance to learn and open up a conversation.

I set up some pictures…Which was our anniversary day. As you can see, it was pretty normal…which we like. Yeah, a trip would have been nice.
This time last year we were in Gatlinburg being tourist. We had a third story balcony room in a chalet with a hot tub. No one could see us…or what we were up too. It was nice. Watching the storm of the year come through the smokies while setting in the hot tub was unbelievable. Also, being tourist geeks and getting air brushed t-shirts and old timey photos rocked as well.
But this year brings change. Sarah is about ready to take a pear knife to her belly and get Tony out. I’m trying to finish up a set for local Arts School before the water breaks. Jack had 2 football games this weekend. Travel is not an option.
But I had a great weekend. I love just spending time with my wife. Jack was at his mom’s, so after the games and some work Saturday, I spent the rest of the weekend with Sarah.
Guys, I hope your wife is the first person on your list that you want to spend time with. Not because you feel like you have to, but because you want to. Not in that “I can’t breath without you” way. Sarah and I have little tiffs…usually about my driving…but we usually just enjoy each other. That’s paramount. If you lost it with your wife, make that your priority.

Recall that secret place. You’ve been there, you remember: That special place where once- Just once- in your crowded sunlit lifetime, you hid away in shadow from the tyranny of time….

Yeah that’s from a musical…cause I’m gay.

Anyway, We had a great day…just being us…cause as it turns out, that’s who we fell in love with.

gatlinburg chalet, timber rose, anniversary, pee wee football

So, how many of you know what onomatopoeia means? My seven year old does. He made some noise today and said “That’s an onomatopoeia.”

Man, did that stop me short…I had to do a quick mental check for the word myself. It’s weird to hear something like that come out of my little boy.

That baby who handed his mom a wolf spider when he was two…which was scary and awesome all in the same moment.

That little boy who couldn’t reach the water fountain, so I’d have to hold him while he drank…and drank…and drank.

That little guy who stood in the hallway cheesing a huge smile on his first day of school…then freaked out when he was dropped off.

He now wears a size 3 shoe. His grandmother can actually fit in these shoes. He had 1 1/2 of homework tonight. I don’t remember having homework until I was in 3rd or 4th grade…and it had something to do with macaroni art. We had math, and reading, and spelling, and a project on the cottonmouth snake…no, admittedly I knew about the cottonmouth at his age, but that’s because I was raised next to a cattle farm.

“They grow up so fast” is the old adage…and true. And, when you are the non custodial parent…it goes even faster. For all you “part time” parents (I hate that term…but it fits) be even more appreciative of the time with your child. Before you know it…they’ll pop out the “onomatopoeia” card…oh, by the way…

on·o·mat·o·poe·ia [on-uh-mat-uh-pee-uh, ‑mah-tuh‑]
–noun 1. the formation of a word, as cuckoo or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent.

…Oh…and on the snoring front…I still am, but I’m supposed to go to a sleep specialist soon, if my insurance pays for it. But, I may not need it…check this out.

And…random link for those of you who go to the movies…ah movies…that sounds nice.