Since the beginning of time, kids tune into which parent plays what roles and prey on that. Who will say yes to ice cream? Who will say yes to a sleep over? Who will say yes to a week in Amsterdam at an opium din? It happens. I did it. I watched my sister do it. It was different for each. I could do no wrong in my Mom’s eyes…not that I ever did. My sister is my Dad’s child.
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What’s Halloween like in the Comer/Brown House? Well, this year it’s on a Wednesday. That’s my day with Jack. So, I offered to get his costume and get him ready for the evening. I picked him up after school, around 3:15. We stopped by the store to get safety pins and a trick and treat bag. Then on to the house to do homework and eat. Sarah got home, and we began the transformation. My little freckled face, blond haired boy became Jack-ula, the undead.
We went to the Baptist church up the street, to their Trunk-or-treat. This was Sarah’s first experience with the boy on Halloween, and her first Trunk-or-Treat. This church does it up right, with 5 inflatable play forts/slides. They also had about 20 cars decorated and giving candy out at each. It’s a great option for the 8 and under crowd. It’s a great way to enjoy Halloween in a safe, controlled way.
I do have to say at this point, some people should have a personal costume cop at there house. One lady, at this church function, showed more breast than I saw at my bachelor party. I’m not really sure who or what she was supposed to be. But nice ta tas. And…Super Girl, without the super abs. I wanted to buy her a body suit.
After 45 minutes, we traveled to bio-mom’s house. She lives in a sub division that does Halloween right. People park at the mouth of the sub division, and but the dozens, walk through. Some have flatbed hay rides. A bunch of the house are decked out with Halloween decorations. Jack was off with his friend to finish the trick or treating…without me.
Sarah and I went home, tried to give out some candy, and plopped on the coach to watch Gordon Ramsey tear an Indian restaurant to shreds.
Not very “Leave it to Beaver” but Jack had an awesome night. It would have been easy to just let Jack hang with his mom, but I really enjoyed having Sarah help get him ready then see the “crazy boy” at Trunk or Treat. I think he also was able to get the best of both houses.
I’d love to say that every holiday in a split family is this easy…but it’s not. Just read Kimberly’s site.
Before I start…I have to say that I never new they went away…Sock Monkeys…
Anyway. I love the updates I get from a few sites about the development of the baby. They all give approximate weight and length, but then they differ slightly in the rest of the information they send. Here’s a few things I learned with this weeks update…a sample, if you will, for those who don’t use them. (more…)
I love North Alabama. We build rockets here for crying out loud. Having said that:
I awoke early this morning to go to Jack’s football. I REALLY wanted to sleep in. Sarah has been sinus-y…and pregnant and I am just sinus-y, so sleep is not uninterupted.
Side note:Did you know you could take sud-a-fed when pregnant? We didn’t think so, and neither did the on call nurse when she called to ask, and neither did the pharmacist. But, when Sarah was at her check up, she mentioned the congestion. He, who had already stated that he was “way behind” said, “just take sud-a-fed”…guess he’s the doc. (more…)
Because of the recent post, I know many of you saw this article and thought, “Oh Hell, Bryan has some anti Homeschooling fador now.” But I read this article and my first reaction was, “Why on Earth do you buy your child an arsenal of weapons at age 14…or any age?”
He was taken out of his high school because he was picked on. I don’t know to what extent this was, but it seems it was a major issue and something had to be done. But it also seems that this child was extremely unstable, and probably not just from the bullying at school. He was planning a Columbine type attack…using a arsenal the Canadian army is envious of.
“This was a smart kid that clearly believes he was picked on and was a victim,” Castor said. “He had psychological issues and began to act out on those feelings.”
His mother has been charged with some weapons violations. This was, as Will stated, a case of a home that had bigger issues than trying to home school.
So, no, I don’t see this as a direct result of home schooling. I also don’t see this as a direct result of the bullying. I believe this kid was failed by the school system, and his mother. Someone should have seen him as a psychological time bomb and found help for him. This mother should have never attempted homeschooling…or parenting it seems.
OH, and his father:
Authorities said Friday that the boy’s father also tried to buy his son a rifle in 2005, but was not allowed to because he was a felon, authorities said Friday.
Frank Cossey was sentenced to house arrest for lying about his criminal record when he went to buy a .22-caliber rifle for his son in December 2005, police said Friday. On his application he said he had never been convicted of a felony, but he had pleaded guilty in 1981 to manslaughter in a drunken driving death in Oklahoma and sent to prison, police said.
I fell horrible for any child in this position. He was in a horrendous home, and seems that either the school never acted, or he was pulled by his mother before they could help.
“No child left behind?” here’s one. Any thoughts?
How bout you gun enthusiast? I’m not a fan of guns. Never had to shot anything…other than at a stunt show (I was the Joker)… and Batman had it coming, bastard. I just don’t see why anyone would need this firepower…unless you were being hunted a 17 headed ninja…then you’re screwed anyway.
homeschool, dillon cossey, Michele Cossey, no child left behind
So, how many of you know what onomatopoeia means? My seven year old does. He made some noise today and said “That’s an onomatopoeia.”
Man, did that stop me short…I had to do a quick mental check for the word myself. It’s weird to hear something like that come out of my little boy.
That baby who handed his mom a wolf spider when he was two…which was scary and awesome all in the same moment.
That little boy who couldn’t reach the water fountain, so I’d have to hold him while he drank…and drank…and drank.
That little guy who stood in the hallway cheesing a huge smile on his first day of school…then freaked out when he was dropped off.
He now wears a size 3 shoe. His grandmother can actually fit in these shoes. He had 1 1/2 of homework tonight. I don’t remember having homework until I was in 3rd or 4th grade…and it had something to do with macaroni art. We had math, and reading, and spelling, and a project on the cottonmouth snake…no, admittedly I knew about the cottonmouth at his age, but that’s because I was raised next to a cattle farm.
“They grow up so fast” is the old adage…and true. And, when you are the non custodial parent…it goes even faster. For all you “part time” parents (I hate that term…but it fits) be even more appreciative of the time with your child. Before you know it…they’ll pop out the “onomatopoeia” card…oh, by the way…
…Oh…and on the snoring front…I still am, but I’m supposed to go to a sleep specialist soon, if my insurance pays for it. But, I may not need it…check this out.
And…random link for those of you who go to the movies…ah movies…that sounds nice.
We had an…incident…at work today. One of our managers, who has a military type background, doesn’t always use the friendliest tone. One of our sales people decided to let him know this. She was so angry at the way he talked to her, that she was almost in tears. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child”
It got me thinking of the ways I hear parents talk to their children. I don’t believe in talking to your child like an equal, but I do believe in talking to them in a non insulting way. I remember all the times I heard my friends parents say things to them that my parents would never say, almost purposefully hurtful things. “Stupid children” was a favorite of a fellow teacher in my previous life. It drove me nuts. Be careful how you talk to your child. Find that medium where you are still the parent, but not verbally abusive.
It drives me nuts to walk into a home that is dangerous for young toddlers…and has toddlers in it. exposed plugs, breakables easily reached, cleaners on lower levels. It’s just common sense. We are about to start the safety process at the house. Here’s some safety tips for newborns. Yes, newborn safety is different than “crawling around, exploring” safety, but newborns kinda come first.
Now I never went overboard with Jack. There is a difference between safe and sterile. Kids have to learn not to mess with things and to be careful around breakables. My aunt has a ton of knick-knacks. We learned not to touch and not to play around them. When we were very small, we weren’t allowed in certain rooms. Then, as we were old enough to know better, those areas were opened to us. Never did she move stuff because of us, we just learned. AND, never did we break anything…that I remember. If you teach your kids at home, they will do that much better at friends and family.
Wow…So, tonight’s Super Nanny hit me hard. The mom had 2 older boys from a previous relationship, and 3 more together. The parents never should have had more children. They said they started having major issues just months after they moved in together. They never talked to each other, only blamed each other for downfalls that they both had a hand in. Why would you start a family under those circumstances. She had actually filed for divorce 6 months before the taping of the show. Children deserve more. The older children, especially the eldest, caught the brunt of dad’s frustration. The dad was always on this boys case, about nothing. The dad blamed the boy for their failing to connect. This poor nine year old shouldered an unbelievable amount of pressure. The boy actually said they were on this show to save his parents marriage. No child should ever have to say something like that.
Again, I’m going to need you to be the adult. Have your shit together when you decide to have a family. When things come up, deal with them. They seemed to harbour all this crap from the past…and project it onto your children. It like if mom did something 5 years ago, dad put it in a mental file and took it out on the family. OR, he would exclude himself from the family while there, almost in a show of resentment towards her. Get off the cross!
Sarah and I aren’t perfect. We have our moments. We have had some pretty big arguments. But, we deal with it, learn from it, and leave it behind. If we do bring it back up, it’s to laugh about how stupid we were.
AND, I really believe that if you are so unhappy…so defeated…get the divorce. Stay involved in the children’s life, but give them a happier world to live in. I can’t speak for my ex-wife, but I know Jack has a much better example of a loving family than he would if we had stayed together. YES DIVORCE SUCKS! It took me at least a year to go though all the stages I needed to in order to become Bryan again. Some take longer. However, now, I am the father I wanted to be for him and Tony.No I am not “full-time” dad…and that also sucks, but I am a better role model now than Jack would have had otherwise.
Also, 6 months of the divorce, just hanging there, stagnant. She had filed it, and it was just a wedge. If you get to the point of divorce, it’s not a bargaining tool. It’s not a threat. It’s a legal declaration of separation. Shit or get off the pot. I didn’t file for divorce until the ex- and I said “done”, then the proceedings happened.
So, in closing. Be the adult. Have your world in order. Make sure you are comfortable in your own skin. If you aren’t, your children will suffer.
It was a Jack weekend. Saturday was great. Jack had his first football game. They won 13 to 12. We watched “Star Wars, The Phantom Menace”…I want that to be a better movie. He enjoyed it. We also hit the photo booth at the mall for a little father son memories. We had a great day.
I woke up Sunday morning with a very sore throat. I got achy as the day progressed. I tried playing game cube with Jack, but didn’t even feel well enough to enjoy that. I hate being sick on one of the few days I have with him. I feel like I’m taking away alot from him.
I’m not a video game junkie. I get alittle frustrated over games… Sarah might say alot. I also grew up outside. Not camping and such, but riding my bike and playing with my animals. I’m not an Nintendo baby.
A couple years ago, I got Jack a Game Cube. We monitor his playing, because he will play for hours if allowed. Usually, it is broken up with “Wanna see what I did?”, but still, hours. So we find things to do in between the games. Some days we make it through without turning it on.
If you can’t tell, video games are not my idea of a great weekend get away.
However, there is nothing better than having your seven year old laying on top of you, playing game cube, on the bunk bed, on a HOT Saturday afternoon. It was very cool.
My son…my oldest son…is very excited about his brother. We called him soon after the doctor’s office.
“Cool” was his response.”Very cool.”
He ask some questions, but not many. We talk to him about what’s going on. He’s always interested in how big the baby is. We usually try to come up with something familiar to compare to the baby’s size, such as a plum, banana, base ball. He knows the baby is 50 times smaller than him in weight.
He told his mom he “wanted one of both” after we told him we were having a boy. I guess we never went into the “only one in there” talk with him.
He’s got a great sense of humor about it. “Sticks and Stuff Comer” was his latest name suggestion. I think it’s copyrighted.
I love my son. He’s an amazing little boy. I hope that Sarah and I can raise lil peep and Jack together to be great brothers. I’m a little nervous about that. I want Jack to know that this house is as much his as any-one’s. That is going to be the hard part.
Any suggestions? How do you we create a home for our new son that allows Jack to feel like he’s as big of a part of it?
Taking the cue from my wife, I want to write down what I’ve learned in the first half of the pregnancy. Now, I do have 37 weeks in my back pocket from Jack, but I have learned volumes from this rodeo.
You can’t go toe-to-toe in the snack department. I realized that about the third time we had a late night snack…by snack I mean a #5 combo from Wendy’s. There are times when her appetite, while appropriate for a woman with child, is not ok for a 35 year old male.
Men are still considered neanderthals when it comes to pregnancyIts better, believe me. More men’s room have changing stations than ever before, but I still get the “You have external genitals, what do you know about child birth” look from some women when the subject comes up.
The OB/GYN is still a strange place to see a man…not in a lab coat. I was the only man in the waiting room. I didn’t see any “Sport’s Illustrated” magazines on the magazine racks…which I thought sexist in and of itself. Women like to look at sweaty muscular men just like us guys…
Super Nanny is a a goddess. The sad thing is, if people had common sense, she’d be out of a job.
It takes a village to teach a confirmed bachelorette. My wife was never going to have children. She always tuned out when the children talk came up at dinner parties. So, she has had to learn alot through me and our friends/family. She’s also read tombs on blogs, extending our village of knowledge.
Sometimes, the village idiot throws his 2 cents in. Opinions are like bung holes…everyone has one, and everyone is going to use it. You have to be willing to nod and smile when the wives tails come flying out. “If your hair is weak and limp, it’s a girl because it’s stealing the mother’s looks.”
There are tons of good…and stupid…products for babies. And as long as there are babies or pregnant women, people will make ‘em, and sale ‘em.
And something I already knew but have seen it magnified:
My wife is amazing. She is not a martyr. She doesn’t hide behind her pregnancy. She doesn’t use it as an excuse. She is so strong. She has kept her sense of humor and good nature, even when the demon spawn within her rears its ugly head. My respect for her has only grown stronger.
There’s more, but those are the high points. We shall see what else is out there to be learned in the next 20 weeks…and beyond.
Does anyone else get pissed watching Super Nanny? I really think people should have to take a parenting test. This episode has a 4 year old with no social skills and the mouth of a sailor, and a 10 year old that is in desperate need of attention from his parents or at least some stimulation. The parents were so freaking lifeless when it came to the kids. The only way the ten year old could get any reaction from the mom was to behave badly. How can they not see that?
Dad is a cop, but has absolutely no enforcement in his body. He treated the eldest like a four year old and ignored the youngest. It was dead parenting at its best.
“I’ve never met two parents with so little enthusiasm” Jo says. AHHHH!!! Why is it ok for these people to procreate. She called them “lame”. They had no rules, no planned activities. they set in the kitchen while their kids played and cursed.
“It just hard” the mom would say. I’m sorry, your a parent. Stop whining and try something. And, how is it hard to set in the kitchen and let things happen?
In our house, we do stuff. We find neat things to do. Even on a lazy day, we break up the video games with trips to the store or walking the dog. And, it’s not an option or a discussion, it’s just the way it is. And, it’s usually the best part of the day.
As a parent, you have to decide to be the parent. If you don’t, the kids will figure that out, and it will be “hard”. If you decide to be a parent, it will be easier AND you can bring a positive energy to the house.
We are about to start the name journey. In a few weeks we will, hopefully, learn the sex. Then it begins. I mean, we’ve been playing around it, but “Laguna Beach Comer” is not really an option. Family names seem to be a running tradition in both families. Sarah is named for her mother’s mother’s mother and her mother’s father’s mother. I share my dad’s first name and Jack is named after my grandfather and his mom’s uncle. I’m not sure where “Bryan” came from…maybe the hot dog company…my dad likes his food. Also, Jack isn’t really my grandfather’s birth name, it was Arthur Earl, but everyone called him Jack.
Now, this isn’t a hard and fast rule, but I’m sure family names will weigh in. What are some of the ways you chose names, or some of traditions you families hold?
As I am writing this, and asking my wife how to spell Arthur, this is the reaction:
“Why the hell are you writing “Arthur”. We are not naming our child “Arthur”!
“But it’s a family name.” I like to aggravate situations.
“Your family can kiss my ass. “Art” do you want to call him “Art”? what about “Thor”? “Thor”.
The "Sympathy Pain" blog is a father's view of what is generally viewed as "woman only" territory, pregnancy. The blog also looks into the blended family and how a new addition affects that family. "Sympathy Pain" is not a battle of the sexes sight, but rather, an open forum for moms and dads.
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