Sympathy Pain

I screwed up. I’d like to blame it all on my son’s seeming inability to focus on simple task, like looking up and writing definitions for 20 vocab words, but I started it.

We got home last night and Jack had afore mentioned definitions and 30 minutes of reading to do. That was all. Not a big deal. We should easily have that accomplished in an hour and a half. With no problem.

Then I said the words that unraveled that plan.

“If you don’t finish in an hour and a half we will just have to be late for the party.” Last night was Jacks Banquet and trophy presentation for Basketball. We were going to a place called “the Jump Zone”. It is a huge warehouse filled with moon bounces and other inflatable jumpy things (No that’s not a euphemism). Those are Jack’s favorites. He is a bouncing fool.

So, suddenly, once the decree was uttered, homework became…difficult. He forgot his alphabet. He would just stare at pages for a couple minutes, then declare the word was not there. Sometimes that was because in his new alphabet “l” came before “e”. Sometimes it was because the word wasn’t in fluorescent colors or have the ability to smack him in the face as he perused the page. It took us over an hour…with me being very patient and trying to focus him, to complete the 20 word assignment.

“How do you eat an elephant” I asked.

“I don’t get it” he replied…before I gave him the answer of “one bite at a time.” Then he still didn’t get it…I was trying to tell him that he was letting the dictionary overwhelm him. He needed to break everything down to starting letter, page it would be on, find column then find the word.

He would have digested that elephant faster than it took him to do the homework.

But we got it done, with minimal pouting. The reading took 30 minutes, as planned, and we got to the party…about 30 minutes late. Once there, he didn’t care if we were late or not. MOON BOUNCES!!!

And the crowd goes wild!!! Really. I have to admit, for at least half the boys on the field, it was a great way to go out. The other team lost 2 games in a row to take 4^th place…and there was tears and yelling from the coach…but everyone got a medal.

So, I’m torn about my previous post. I was not looking forward to the game at all. My hot chocolate sucked. Jack was asleep for the first half, as was most of his team. They were behind 13-6 at the half. Then they woke up. Jack had a great 2^nd half. The team came from behind to beat the team who stomped us in the championship last year. 19-13. The other coach is an a-hole, so it was nice to put him down a few notches. He went out on the field to check on one of his injured players and yelled at his kids “you are why he just got killed!” as he passed by them. Nice. It was more of a positive for our kids and coaches than a negative.

But, now the season is finally over. My wallet can stop hemorrhaging money every Saturday. (This game was 7 bucks a head to “pay for trophies and medals”) He seemed to have a good season, and less crying at the end of the game. He’s already looking forward to next year…and playing the heck out of some “Madden 08″ on the Wii. He shall be ready…so sayeth the Madden.

Well, it’s over…for the most part. We played Saturday and lost 13-0 against our in town rivals. These are boys that are in the same pool of players, so some played on the same team last year. It’s hard to lose against kids that you know…and easier at the same time to be happy for them. So we aren’t in the running for the championship or 2^nd place. In my mind…season’s over.

But wait, we live in the Trophy Generation. Everyone must get a trophy and be told how awesome they are. It’s like all those kids I grew up with who were always coming in 2^nd place grew up scarred. They now raise kids and want them to always feel good about everything. So we are having a game for 3^rd and 4^th place. Really? Why? It’s not like a bowl game where the team get’s scholarship money or national air time. It’s just a way to make parents pay 4 bucks a head to come in and watch their Johnny play for a non trophy…trophy.

Back in the day, when I played 65 pound football…using an oval shaped stone for a ball…we lost every game. Only scored twice the entire season. And we learned from that. I realized then, I could do my best, and still get kicked in the teeth. It didn’t hurt my ego, it made me want to be more of a team player. Help the other guys. Get better myself and drag them with me, win or lose.

What am I proud of the most? Even into the 4^th quarter, when we were losing and couldn’t do anything to stop it, my son was positive. He continued to jog on and off the field. He kept trying to pump up the team.

Now, everyone must get a trophy. A “Thanks for participating, gee your swell” trophy. So, Saturday we play for 3^rd or 4^th place. Talk about a great motivation for the team. “We’re number…3!”

It’s my least favorite sport that Jack plays. I think it’s a mixture of the inefficiency of the practices, the gall of the parents, and the fact that I have to pay $4 PER GAME. It’s like the dues we paid weren’t enough. Just gripes me every Saturday.

We had practice last Friday night…in the rain…and Jack did nothing. For 2 hours. He warmed up, and then the coaches worked on one offensive play. Jack’s not on offensive this year. So for about an hour and 30 minutes he tried to stay out of trouble with the rest of the defensive team…while it rained…and he was on antibiotics for tonsillitis…I digress.

We did win the game Saturday. The team is now 1 and 1. It’s nice to win. You don’t have to hear the other parents bitch loudly about the refs…or the other team cheating…or our coaches being inept…or the refs… Last year, at our championship game, which we lost, a group of the dads were yelling at OUR coach BEFORE the game even began. During warm up. Wow.

They play 10 or 11 games plus the tournament. I pay $4 dollars a game…just for me. If Sarah comes, or any of our family, that goes up a bunch. We paid close to $100 for registration, pads, and uniforms. Then throw in the extra $50ish from me alone to see the game…plus the $50 from his mom…plus the $50 from his grandmother who’s at most of the games…you see where I’m going? It is a money pit.

Jack does like it…which I guess counts for something…but it still is my least favorite sport.

ROLL TIDE!!!

Baseball season is over. Jack’s team lost last night. They had a better than even chance of going all the way but it ended last night. I have to admit, I’m very proud of Jack. He came along way this season. Mostly in the batting department.

Jack’s left handed. He causes the kid pitchers to handle him differently. At the beginning of the season, he couldn’t hit off kid pitchers. His mom forced him to go to a baseball camp…he’d rather have stayed home and played PSP. But we saw results. A few games ago he hit a ball over the fence…but it was foul. It amazed me that my gangly little boy caused the other team to play him deep.

So, last night, the team made some crucial errors that put us down by 2 in the last inning. Jack got up, with 2 outs and a man on 2^nd.

“It’s over” I heard our coach say. Their pitcher had struck out our best hitters. The guy on 2^nd had walked and stole 2^nd. Jack, at the beginning of the season, would have been the last out. Last night, he was 10 feet from hitting a home run. Unfortunately, it bounced over the fence, creating a ground rule double situation. If it had been a little shorter, Jack would have had a great chance of running all the way to cause a play at the plate. It didn’t happen though, and the next kid struck out. We lost by 1 point…but Jack did his job…and did it well. That’s all I can ask.

I hope he learned something from last night. He didn’t give up. The coach had…and most of us had…but he brought life back to us and did us proud. It’s a nice life lesson.

I’m exhausted. The weekend…which started Thursday afternoon…was filled with lots of sweat and dust. We moved the bulk of the furniture by truck Thursday afternoon. It wasn’t supposed to rain Thursday, but those little summer showers popped up making the humidity oceanic. We finished up around 9 or 10. Unfortunately Tony started coughing about then.

Tony’s pediatrician was out of town. So Friday morning I learned a valuable lesson. Emergency or walk in clinics don’t all take infants. I went to 2 before finding a third that would see Tony. It happened to be the same one I took Jack to years ago. They were great but slow. Jack had a tendency at Tony’s age to develop pneumonia any time he got a cough, so we didn’t want to hesitate with Tony. His lungs are clear, but the doctor said he heard a hint of an asthmatic wheeze at the end of each breath. Joy. So antibiotics and rest for now.

More moving Friday night with Jack… and some Wii. Wii Fit is awesome! It’s actually an exercise routine I can buy into.

Baseball…the last of the regular season…Saturday morning. We start the championship Saturday.

More moving Saturday afternoon.

Saturday evening…birthday dinner for Jack and myself at Red Robin. The birthday sundae rocked.

Sunday, guess what, more trips to the old house. One truck load at a time. My job is to fetch. Sarah has been great about unpacking.

Monday…work was exhausting…plus the cable hook up. They never come when they are supposed to. The evening was Jack’s 8^th Birthday. Wow. It hurts me to think how old he is. Tony can’t ever grow up.

No moving. But I did install a touch screen programmable thermostat… cause I can.

There are still a few things at the old house…and cleaning to do. But I’m exhausted and feel like I am coming down with some summer cold. So, goodbye for now. Hopefully I will have more fatherly advice later.

Jack has been on the same baseball team as D. for the last few years. To begin with, D was one of those kids that you hoped your child wouldn’t set beside, because you knew there would be trouble. D’s parents are older…in their late 50’s early 60’s. D is adopted. He was uncoordinated and borderline mean at the beginning of last season. Then, as the season progressed, the rest of the time and coaches helped D find his rhythm and place. It was a little “village” that helped him become more socially adept and also befriend some of the boys on the team.

So this weekend was his birthday party. Jack and I arrived a couple minutes late, with present in hand and swimsuit ready.

“There are no balloons,” Jack observed, “and we are the first ones here.”

I thought that was strange, and when we walked up and saw D, I knew plans had changed.

“Because it was raining here an hour ago, we postponed the party until Wednesday.” His mom told us. “We tried to call Jack’s mom, but couldn’t get through.” Her home phone hasn’t worked in months…but I digress.

I could tell D was bummed…as was Jack. So we decided to stay. It wasn’t raining so the day wasn’t completely a bust.

Then, JW showed up. He is in the same boat D was in at the beginning of last season…without the mean. D’s mom and I talked with JW’s mom for a long time. She is worried about her son’s social development. We told her where D was last year and how much of a change he had gone through because of little league. Hopefully, next year, I can update on JW and say he has grown exponentially the way D has.

I still believe very firmly that positive involvement is extremely important for social growth. You can’t raise a child in a bubble. Sometimes peer pressure is positive pressure.

This week has been crazy. Sunday was the day of Jack being sick. I didn’t mention that after I dropped him off I raced across town to look at a house. It was awesome. We decided to make an offer.

Monday…Work, which was a trip to the middle of the state…about 2 hours one way. Next to the emergency room with Jack and his faking dehydration (I kid…he was pretty sick). I think it was sometime Monday that they countered our offer and we countered back. I think we got Tivo that night as well. It’s awesome!

Tuesday…let’s see. Oh yes, they accepted our offer, after saying they had to take the curtains…but leave the plantain blinds. I didn’t even notice the curtains. Sarah also got a fabulous job offer. I’m very excited for her. It’s a great program to be involved with.

Wednesday…lots of paper work figuring and talking to loan officers and insurance folks. That’s also the day I found out…I have the Apnea. Dum dum dum!!! I got to play with the Binja that evening. Sarah went to help out the Shickles with the new baby and her big sister.

Thursday…inspection on the house. It is in amazing shape. Then on to pick up Jack, make fudge for the daycare’s spring fling, and Baseball. We lost 21-20. Straight from there to the sleep clinic. It’s weird sleeping with a mask that keeps blowing air up your nose.

Today? Furniture shopping at lunch…and who knows what the evening holds. We have my Grandmother’s birthday celebration tomorrow and Jack’s basketball banquet Sunday.

Jack’s team won the region championship. 21-18 was the final game. We played another team from our city, so we knew the kids really well. It was a good game, and a great ending to the undefeated Threat. I’m so proud…

Of course, there’s always a but…or Butt. In the semifinal, we were up about 20 points, had taken out our lead scorer in the 3rd quarter to try to make it fair, and the other teams crowd was still pissed off. In the 4th, our lead guy got fouled…hard. The crowd actually cheered. One of the adults stood up and said…with his big girl panties on…

“He’s the only one on your team worth a damn, the rest are crap.” To a bunch of 7 year olds…He was ejected. It was a great moment in little league history.

But I digress…Congrats to the Triple Threat for a perfect season!

Ok, so you might not know the rap, but it’s stuck in my head.

This weekend, Jack starts his basketball tournament. His team is 10 and 0. Feels alot like the football season. We are top seed, going in. If you had ask me at the beginning of the season if we would make it this far without a lose, I would have laughed in your face. We have a really good player, most about medium for their age, and one who is a tard challenging at best. But we always find a way to come out on top. It’s a very blue collar team. They find a way to win. Most of that comes from the boys. The coach is also very good with the kids, and brings out that part of them. No whining. No tempers. Just sticking it out. And Jack has improved dramatically. At the beginning of the season, he could barley hit the rim. Now, he can hit about 5 to 6 shots in a 30 second shooting drill. Not bad.

We did loose the Christmas Tournament Championship after playing, and winning 5 straight games. But we have a good chance at taking the district. The final will be next Saturday, if we win the next 3 games. Then, there’s a break, before Baseball.

Basketball was my favorite backyard sport. However, I have weak ankles. Once, while playing backstage while working at the esteemed Alliance Theatre in Atlanta, I broke my ankle. Yes, we had a goal just behind the stage, and were between shows. I went up for a shot against Kenny Leon, the Artistic Director, And on of People’s “50 Most Beautiful People” in 2004, and came down wrong. Being Blue Collar myself, I ran the show before going to the doctor. Maybe that’s where Jack gets it. Kenny felt bad for a while, but never gave me a raise…bastard.

So, anyway, Go Triple Threat!!!

This weekend was the championship for my son’s football team. They went 11-0. Had a great season. Jack played center on offense and tight end on defense…I think. I am not very football savvy. Anyway, 11-0. We played a team we had beaten twice…so we thought…

I get to the stadium about 20 minutes before the game is suppose to begin to find the game before it had just started…and it was freakin cold. So we tried to keep the boys busy and focused…they are 5-7…good luck, right?

So the game started, almost 2 hours late. At the half, it was 20 all. Felt pretty good, but kinda scary. They had this kid who did everything for there team, number 21. We knew about him, but for some reason didn’t come up with a plan to stop him. And in the second half, he scored 3 more times, to our none. Plus a safety just to kick us in the nuts.

You know how I’ve mentioned that our little league association is pretty good…well there’s not so much. It’s like these redneck parents are living vicariously though there kids. They poured gator raid over the coaches head in the middle of the field, not 15 feet away from our kids who were boo hooing. Our teams had never been behind, much less lost. They were inconsolable…and the other tams parents were just nuts. I hate to know how they teach there kids about team work. I mean, in theory alone, this one kid touched the ball 90% of there plays. How much does that suck for the rest of the team. He was taking snaps directly…bypassing a quarter back. Then, their lack of any regards to our kids just pissed me off. Jack has won a championship or 2 before, and we always cheer for the other team and make a point of holding our celebration to a lull until the after party.

We told our kids what a great season they had. I carried a crying Jack around telling him how proud I was of him. I reminded him that my team lost every game when I played. It didn’t matter. He was crushed and never wanted to play again…until next season.

So, anyway, second place suck, especially loosing to dumb ass rednecks that don’t know how to win.

Don’t be that parent.

We play this week in round 2. If we win, we play the next weekend for the championship. It’s very exciting. Jack’s Baseball team won the county tournament, now foot ball is on its way. Very cool. He’s a sports phenom. And, the championship is being held in a college stadium. How cool…uh, for the kids…is that?

I did see some of the stereotypical ugliness that surrounds parents of little league during the last game. The other team was behind. We had beaten them just the week before. They were having…issue with the ref’s calls. Now, we were up 21 to nothing, so it wasn’t like a few missed calls would have made any difference. However, as I was getting my second hot chocolate…don’t judge…I heard yelled from the opposing side:

“Ref, I’ll just meet you in the parking lot.”

The ref came my way…I thought he wanted me…but security was standing behind me, also drinking a hot chocolate.

“I need you to do a sweep of the away side,”he says to the guard, “Someone wants to ‘talk’ with me after the game.”

Soon after, the offensive coach, who already had 2 personal fouls called on him, was escorted off the field. In this age class, there is one coach on the field, with the kids, at all times. He was one of them. So there supposed model of sportsmanship was thrown out of the game. I felt sorry for his kids. He should be banned from coaching.

Anyway, wish us luck. It should be a good game.

My son is very excited about his little brother. I’ve been trying to get him ready…talking about the baby, having him help pick out the ceiling fan, etc. So when I heard there was a “Sibling Class”, I jumped on it. It seem’s like he was in diapers himself not to long ago.
Ok, I didn’t jump. It was more of a leap interrupted thanks to all the activities we are involved in. Even yesterday, it was a scheduling challenge to say the least. But we got there on time.
I figured it would be a little rudimentary, but I wanted to get him involved.

It was mostly aimed towards children under 5. He was slightly bored for most of the class. He did get to diaper…his Sneetch doll. We laughed alot about that. The Sneetch will stay in Tony’s room…without the diaper for now. He also colored in what he thought the baby would look like…blue eyes and red hair…alot like his own. We took a tour of the hospital and he was able to see a new born.

“When do they get to go home? when they can crawl?”
There will be nights that we wish that was the fact…but no. It did start some conversation between us, which was nice.

They had a “Molly” Puppet who had just gotten “a baby brother” Unfortunately the nurse in charge was no Cheri Lewis…but one of the kids asked if she was from Sesame Street. They puppet was the least effective part of the hour and a half class. Maybe I’ll try to get in touch with them and help out with that. See a need. Fill a need.

So, over all, the class was good for both of us. We got to be at the hospital, see the room Tony will be delivered in, see a little baby, and diaper a Sneetch. I think Dr. Seuss would approve…and then Jack went on to recover 4 fumbles and make several tackles in their 6th straight win of the season…

So if you have a little one, and our having another, go ahead and go to a “sibling class” at you local women’s clinic. It’s a good chance to learn and open up a conversation.

So I have to tell you. My son’s coach pitch baseball team just won the regional tournament. I’m very proud of them. They were the team to beat, and lost only once, in what could have been the championship. But it was a double elimination tournament, so we had to play Monday night. They played great and won 15 to 6. Go Chargers!

I only played football at 65 lbs and soccer in junior high. That was my organized sports experience. i was more the “Science Team Nerd” and later the “Theatre Geek”. I always had the crazy parents and yelling coaches image in my head when “little league” was mentioned. We were lucky to land in a good little league community. There are always some crazy parents, but for the most part, it’s like a big family.

One little boy was so socially and physically inept at the beginning of the season, I really worried if he would play out the year. Every week, we saw an improvement. He gained better control of his body, began hitting the ball, and wasn’t so much of a terror in the dugout. He came to Jack’s birthday party, and seemed to almost fit in.

So, my advice for the day is getting you child involved. Rather it is sports, arts, church, or something else. It helps with social skills, as well as, exercise.

I wish I could talk Jack into Tap Dancing. He has the dance in his soul…or maybe he just can’t set still. I think pee-wee football is next.