Sympathy Pain

“I’m going to start the P90X when I get the DVD’s in.” My lovely wife told me. These announcements usually go with little enthusiasm from me. I don’t do formal exercising. I got spoiled years ago when I had a more active professional life as a stagehand. You don’t sit still for long when running big shows. So I didn’t need to exercise to stay under 185 pounds. Now…205 is the new 185.

“I should do that with you.”

Chirp…chirp.

“Ok…that would be great.” Another lack of enthusiasm. She got me a membership to Riviera Fitness…I went 3 times. She got me a bike…I haven’t rid it more than a few times since we bought the house a year ago. To say I am not an exercise fanatic is an understatement.

So, I was determined. I was going to see this through. I started looking into it.

90 days…ok. Consecutively? Yes…damn, I was hoping for a loop hole.

Extreme program…hmm…you actually are supposed to take a health test to see if you are in shape enough to proceed. The test almost wiped me out, but I passed.

So it has been 4 days…5 if you count the test…which I do. I actually am enjoying it. It’s freakin hard. My thighs are killing me. But, I’m doing better than I thought I would I’m not doing everything at 100%…or even 50%, but I am trying. AND I have stayed with this longer than any other actual exercise program…5 days!

As far as doing it together…we are doing them at different times. Our schedules make that necessary. Some of the workouts are an hour long, and with a kids and work, it’s really hard to set that chuck aside to both be here and ready to sweet…and the fact that watching each other struggle isn’t as hot as it may sound. We tried the “Ab Shredder” together…we laughed a lot, at ourselves and each other, but we probably won’t do them together much. (and Sarah farted)

So, I’m going to keep it up. I need to. Jaunting up a single flight of stairs was starting to wind me. Racquet ball with jack was actually starting to look like jack was playing Chet from weird science…after he was turned into a shit pile.

Wish us luck. I’ll keep you informed.

Jack has started wearing glasses. He’s farsighted…which is the opposite of his mom and I. I’ve worn glasses for 30 years, contacts since I was 18. One day I plan on getting my eyes lasered, if I can. I just remember hating wearing glasses when I was his age. So it’s been hard for me to have him in glasses.

I guess I’m projecting my bad experience onto him. I try not to, but I know I do. Every time I see him I remember my glasses getting jerked off my face by some wise ass…who found himself with his head it the toilet. It’s the only fight I’ve ever been in. I just don’t want him to get into a fight or being picked on about his glasses.

I did have a surreal moment yesterday. I took Jack to the eye doctor. Something I’ve done for ever…and to set in the seat (figuratively) that my father sat in, and hear his responses to “Better at one or two…two or one…a or b…b or a…or about the same?” was odd. I do think it helped me though. He was really paying attention and truly answering the questions. I don’t know why I thought he would hem and haw and just answer “I don’t know.” But he did great.

I think we as parents do the projecting thing more than we should. His mom’s hatred of school…my dislike of glasses…it goes on. Prejudices, religious biases. It all comes down to the way we present our beliefs and feelings. Just something to be aware of…even if it’s just about eye wear.

My wife and I decided to treat ourselves to I-Phones. What does this have to do with pink eye? Wait for it… We met for lunch at the Apple Store. Ok, we atr at Red Robin, but then walked over, in 127 degree heat to the store. As we stood there, getting everything ready to switch over phones, I get a call from the daycare on my old phone…here it comes.

“Your child is sick. He’s projectile vomiting and had 100.8 fever.”

“well…as soon as I fulfill my selfish technology needs, I’ll be there to pick him up.”

So, I pick him up, and he’s being held by one of the workers, being really grumpy. This is not his norm so I know he’s not feeling well. I look at his chart, and he’ eaten almost every 2 hours. Well damn, I think, I’d throw up too. He just, that morning, started eating more in his bottle, so I figure…more food…more frequency…bingo…

Until I read the rest of his chart. “Green discharge from the eyes.” Crap.

Sure enough, we have Pink eye…itch itch…

What the hell is pink eye. On “knocked up” they get it from fecal matter on pillows. Eww.

Conjunctivitis, commonly known as pinkeye, is an inflammation of the conjunctiva, the clear membrane that covers the white part of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids.

While pinkeye can sometimes be alarming because it may make the eyes extremely red and can spread rapidly, it’s a fairly common condition and usually causes no long-term eye or vision damage. But if your child shows symptoms of pinkeye, it’s important to see a doctor. Some kinds of pinkeye go away on their own, but other types require treatment.

Conjunctivitis can be caused by infections (such as bacteria and viruses), allergies, or substances that irritate the eyes.

There’s more to the article, like how to treat and prevent. All I know is that baby is pissed off.

The bulb syringe was a foreign object to Sarah when Tony was born. I know there was one at the birth, but she was to busy to notice. It’s not something that we use in everyday adult life. So I saw this article and thought I’d pass it along.

When should I use a bulb syringe?

When your baby has a cold or a stuffed-up nose, you can use a rubber bulb syringe to remove some of the mucus. Clearing her nose when it’s stuffy will probably make it easier for her to breathe, eat, and sleep.

In addition to the syringe, you’ll need saline drops to moisten and loosen up the mucus in your baby’s nose before you try to suction it out. You can buy saline drops at pharmacies or make them easily at home by dissolving 1/4 teaspoon of salt in 8 ounces of warm water. Make a fresh batch each day and store it in a clean, covered glass jar. (If you get your water from a well, it’s a good idea to boil the water first to sterilize it.)

How do I use the syringe?

Your baby probably won’t enjoy it, but it’s not painful or hard to do. It’s best to try the procedure before rather than after a feeding, so that if your baby gags from the saline or suctioning she’ll be less likely to spit up her food.

How do I clean the syringe?

I remember the feeling I had after the divorce. My give a damn was very low if not nonexistent. I felt like I was walking through Jello most days. The only time I felt anything was with Jack, and even that was forced at time. Life wasn’t that bad. I had a nice job. I had begun dating again. I was doing theatre again. I felt like I was going through the paces of the life I thought I deserved…but didn’t feel much.

My ex-wife had said I needed therapy before the divorce. Said I had “anger issues”. I had a short fuse about small things…never really at anyone, most at myself. But she saw those little explosions and didn’t like that person. I started realizing those explosions where something I saw in my father…but he directed them at those around him. Instead of getting mad the last suitcase just wouldn’t fit in the trunk, he’d get mad at mom for moving the remote. I felt myself getting that way with my son as an infant. I would get really overwhelmed with him…and realized that was my father’s MO. Get to the point of no return and blow up. I didn’t want to continue that legacy.

Those two things are what sent me to a shrink. I remember thinking I was weak for wanting help. Maybe a little crazy. I expected her to tell me to grow a pair and get over it. Man up and control you issues. But that wasn’t it at all. I talked over tons of memories and thoughts with her. I analyzed myself and my reactions for the first time from an objective level. She put me on Lexapro…and anti anxiety/depression drug. A low dose but enough to help.

I’m a better person now. I still take Lexapro. It evens me out. It helps me think more clearly and process information faster. I don’t feel overwhelmed with Tony…almost ever. I feel more deeply than I ever allowed myself before. I like who I am now. I’m very proud of my decision to get help.

Just an honest look…from me to you.

This week has been crazy. Sunday was the day of Jack being sick. I didn’t mention that after I dropped him off I raced across town to look at a house. It was awesome. We decided to make an offer.

Monday…Work, which was a trip to the middle of the state…about 2 hours one way. Next to the emergency room with Jack and his faking dehydration (I kid…he was pretty sick). I think it was sometime Monday that they countered our offer and we countered back. I think we got Tivo that night as well. It’s awesome!

Tuesday…let’s see. Oh yes, they accepted our offer, after saying they had to take the curtains…but leave the plantain blinds. I didn’t even notice the curtains. Sarah also got a fabulous job offer. I’m very excited for her. It’s a great program to be involved with.

Wednesday…lots of paper work figuring and talking to loan officers and insurance folks. That’s also the day I found out…I have the Apnea. Dum dum dum!!! I got to play with the Binja that evening. Sarah went to help out the Shickles with the new baby and her big sister.

Thursday…inspection on the house. It is in amazing shape. Then on to pick up Jack, make fudge for the daycare’s spring fling, and Baseball. We lost 21-20. Straight from there to the sleep clinic. It’s weird sleeping with a mask that keeps blowing air up your nose.

Today? Furniture shopping at lunch…and who knows what the evening holds. We have my Grandmother’s birthday celebration tomorrow and Jack’s basketball banquet Sunday.

I’m sick…have been since Tuesday Night. Sarah’s mom had the stomach flu so I stayed home with Tony. We went to the doctor to get his 4 moth shots and check up. He’s fabulous…and pissed about the shots. Tony and I went to get Jack in the afternoon, and had a good evening…until…

You know how I said Sarah’s mom had the stomach flu…she got it from Tony. He’s had nasty diapers for a few days, blowing through 3 outfits at school Monday. So I was the first at the Comer-Brown house to have the pleasure. As Jack and I played some Madden 07 on the Wii, I thought I would play the “fart game” with Jack…unfortunately, it wasn’t a fart.

I skipped to the bathroom, letting Sarah know…”I sharted!” as I passed.

It went downhill from there. Sarah took Jack home, and I ended up on the floor of the bathroom, pants around my ankle, begging for death. I usually don’t get stomach stuff…but this is the second time since Tony’s arrival.

Sarah was blessed with a lesser form of the demon flu. So she got the awesome task of being sick AND taking care of me and the baby.

The vomiting is gone, but I still have a fever and am never more than 20 paces from the toilet.

I do have to admit, while laying in a fetal position in the bed, I really listened to Sarah interact with Tony. She’s amazing. Her tonality is just beautiful. The noises she makes with him always sound like she’s excited to be playing with him. There is never a sound of frustration or irritation, even when he is screaming for more food or going 10 rounds with the sand man. She just has an amazing way with him. I’m very blessed…and have to go…

8:00pm

So…it started off pretty rough. We tried to go look at houses between 6:30 and my 8:00 appointment for the sleep study. Tony would not have it. Usually, after a few minutes crying in the car, he nods off. Not this evening, ladies and gents. He let us know everything he thought of us dragging him along from house to house. We were only doing drivebys tonight, but he still was pissed at us. He cried for a solid half hour until finally we threw in the towel and Sarah took me to my appointment.

So here I sit. In a room about the size of a cheap hotel. It’s nice though. The bathroom is almost as big as the sleeping area. I have a tv with vcr…but no remote. There is a gazillion wires coming out of a control panel next to the bed. I think there is a plastic fitted sheet…probably with sensors…on the bed. And a camera with infrared LED lamp. I have no idea how long before she comes in and hooks me up. I so look forward to it.

9:00pm

Ok…so I’m lying in bed…kinda drifting. I’m waiting for someone to come back to hook me up…and not in a good way, when I hear from over head…

“Mr. Comer…” There’s an intercom above the bed.

“I need you to set up and look at the camera. I need to get a picture.”

So I set up. The robotic camera swivels around.

“Smile.” If just having the camera in the room wasn’t enough, they had to make sure I knew it was there…and moved. Creepy.

9:45pm

Patty comes in to hook me up. There’s a wire down each of my pants legs with 2 electrodes per leg…can’t wait to rip the tape off tomorrow morning. There are 2 electrodes on my chest, and what feels like 8 on my face and scalp. Plus the pluse ox on my finger and the air monitor in my nose.

Sleep tight.

After I get in bed and the lights are off, I have to do exercises. These tell her if everything is hooked up correctly.

“Mr. Comer,” again the voice from above, “look left, now right, no left, now right…flex your left fot 3 times…now your right”…and so on. A voice in the dark…and I’m being filmed…normal night for me.

5:00am

“Mr. Comer. It’s time to get up.” And we had to do the aerobics all over again. I slept o.k. Woke up a few times more than I would at home, but it wasn’t bad.

Patty came in and removed all the connections. “You wife is right…you do snore.” I almost didn’t take a shower there…until I ran my hand through my hair and felt all the crap. I took the option of a shower and left.

I go to the doc in two weeks to see if I have apnea or not. If so, I have to do another sleep study.

Yawn.

I’m going to my sleep study tonight. I’ve been thinking it was tomorrow night for a week. I had figured out my schedule around getting to the hospital at 8:00 pm and being there until Saturday morning…until they called to confirm this evening’s appointment. So…um, I guess tonight it is.

I can’t have alcohol or caffeine from lunch on. The whiskey is not an issue, but I am jonesing for a Mountain Dew. I drink 3 or 4 a day, easily. Everything else is normal nightly routine…just in a hospital “hotel” room. They do ask that you wear clothes…pajamas or jogging pants. I wonder who showed up in the buff to make them actually put that in writing.

From what I understand, they will hook electrodes to my head and chest, with a pulse ox on my finger. No cameras…at least that I can see…then let me sleep. I usually don’t have an issue sleeping in strange places, and I even had a take home study that I slept pretty well during, so I think this should go pretty easily. I’ll fill you in tomorrow.

I’m excited to pin down my sleeping issues. I know Sarah will be. If I have Apnea, I’ll get the C-pap. I figure it will take some getting used to…having a Darth Vader mask on while I sleep, but hopefully it will allow me a better nights rest. And Sarah, for that matter. It will also give me more energy, which comes in handy with the 2 boys. I also hear chick dig the mask…

I saw this study today…and sadly, it doesn’t surpise me.

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) — About 1 in 50 U.S. infants are victims of nonfatal child abuse or neglect in a year, according to the first national study of the problem in that age group.

(more…)

It was an absolutely beautiful weekend. It’s almost spring…and we are getting stir crazy. We decided to take the family over to our local city park. It’s where I asked Sarah to Marry me. It’s just a nice melting pot for the area. People where there feeding the ducks and fish, throwing the football, soaking up the sun, walking the dogs, and other activities ending in -ing.

We grabbed lunch and the stroller and headed over. Now, as we set there in the shade of a leafless tree, we realized that the first trip out of the spring always has a learning curve. I am follically challenged and felt the sun shinning on the bald spot. We also realized the binja was in the same predicament.

So here’s what we learned.

1. us baldies must wear a hat or sunscreen.

2. if you think you shouldn’t see rule one.

As far as the baby, a hat is a great idea. As far as sunscreen goes, be selective. Find a “physical” or “chemical-free” sunscreen made with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide. Follow this link to Baby Center for more information.

Luckily, I didn’t burn, but Tony was alittle over done, but not too bad. He was mostly grumpy and tired because of it…and used Sarah’s decolletage as a vomitorium. Twice.

Now, it would be nice if spring were here to stay, bur in the south, we will have at least one more cold snap…and some tornadoes…and a volcano. It’s just the way we roll around here.

Ok, so it’s just Excema, but damn…He’s had, what we thought…and was diagnosed originally…was heat rash. Turns out, after his 2 month checkup, it’s eczema. It never seemed to bother him, but was not attractive. We’ve changed to the Nestle natural cultures formula a few weeks ago, and recently started using Aveeno extreme care baby wash. The doc also gave Sarah a voodoo recipe for an at home concoction. He is doing much better after only a week. His skin is almost clear and is soft as a baby’s…wait a tick, that’s redundant.

I did read, and have been told, that eczema can be connected to food allergies and, in some odd way, be a foreshadowing sign of asthma. Ain’t that something. It’s like a cruel, predestined, nerd trio. Food allergies, bad skin, and asthma. If he had been born with am inhaler and pocket protector, it would have been complete.

But we are diligent. We are using the right lotion and baby wash now. However, my wife does miss his “sweet baby” smell that comes from the scented baby wash. She may sacrifice the skin to get the baby smell back. And, my mother-in-law wants to use hydrochloric acid on him…read up.

Tony gave Sarah a shock this morning…projectile vomit. It’s a little unnerving with the entire contents of a babies stomach and intestines come out of his mouth at the speed of sound. She woke me up at about 7:00 as she was getting ready for work. I know her Monday’s are crazy, so I sent her to work while I took care of the baby…and not 15 minutes after she left, this is the baby I had…

He had no fever, and took a small bottle without any issues…then a full bottle 2 hours later. I think he was refilling his tank. I did look up the PV just to make sure, and it looks like I did the right thing.

I have to admit, I hated spend 4 hours at home with a happy baby

How is this ok, God?

So, it seems, there is some link between prostate cancer and having children. Men who have not fathered a child are less likely to develop prostate cancer than men with a child. Then, if that isn’t weird enough, the more children you have, the less chance you have. And one more thing, it you father boys you are less likely to have your prostate rot than if you have girls. I guess your screwed if you are the parent of a single girl child.

Well ain’t that a kick in the …head.