Sympathy Pain

I would like to continue the “conversation“, but I think I need to pause. I have a list of things I want to say about some of the comments, positive and negative, listed on Summer’s site, as well as others, but have decided to let it lay…for now. I have questions, but am afraid that they will be viewed as cliche and ignorant. This site is about putting out there positive information for parents. I would be more than glad to discuss any personal issues you have about my and my “own life” on my personal site. Do me a favor though…don’t guess about my home life…this site is pretty open about things that have happened to get me to where I am.

It does seem strange that I have posted things about AIDS in Africa, miscarriage, and a parent who’s child is sick, yet this is the topic that has gotten more responses from loving parents than anything else. I feel my misconceptions about home schooling have derailed what I wanted for this site.

I’m really trying to not take an aggressive tone. I feel like I got carried away with my original post, but that doesn’t make most of those questions or perceptions any less valid. It doesn’t mean I’m not willing to listen also feel like the majority of the responses are telling ME to be open mined. It needs to be a 2 way street.

We are all passionate about what is best for our children. Let’s keep it about that passion. I’ll try not to make things personal in the future. I ask the same of both camps.

So, there’s the olive branch. I really do want the possibility of an open conversation on this and other parenting subjects. Thank you for those who have attempted this as well. We are about to start our new family and will have questions and opinions that I will post on this site. That is what it is for. And if you have constructive knowledge to add, I welcome it. I’ll even take a jab now and again. I want to share all aspects of parenting with my readers. I will try to play nicer, if we can all agree to that. If you don’t like what I have to say, feel free to chime in, but if you can’t play nice, go find another sandbox.

Keep the info coming. Thanks Christine for this article about college admissions and the homeschooler.

Because of the recent post, I know many of you saw this article and thought, “Oh Hell, Bryan has some anti Homeschooling fador now.” But I read this article and my first reaction was, “Why on Earth do you buy your child an arsenal of weapons at age 14…or any age?”

He was taken out of his high school because he was picked on. I don’t know to what extent this was, but it seems it was a major issue and something had to be done. But it also seems that this child was extremely unstable, and probably not just from the bullying at school. He was planning a Columbine type attack…using a arsenal the Canadian army is envious of.

“This was a smart kid that clearly believes he was picked on and was a victim,” Castor said. “He had psychological issues and began to act out on those feelings.”

His mother has been charged with some weapons violations. This was, as Will stated, a case of a home that had bigger issues than trying to home school.

So, no, I don’t see this as a direct result of home schooling. I also don’t see this as a direct result of the bullying. I believe this kid was failed by the school system, and his mother. Someone should have seen him as a psychological time bomb and found help for him. This mother should have never attempted homeschooling…or parenting it seems.

OH, and his father:

Authorities said Friday that the boy’s father also tried to buy his son a rifle in 2005, but was not allowed to because he was a felon, authorities said Friday.

Frank Cossey was sentenced to house arrest for lying about his criminal record when he went to buy a .22-caliber rifle for his son in December 2005, police said Friday. On his application he said he had never been convicted of a felony, but he had pleaded guilty in 1981 to manslaughter in a drunken driving death in Oklahoma and sent to prison, police said.

I fell horrible for any child in this position. He was in a horrendous home, and seems that either the school never acted, or he was pulled by his mother before they could help.

“No child left behind?” here’s one. Any thoughts?

How bout you gun enthusiast? I’m not a fan of guns. Never had to shot anything…other than at a stunt show (I was the Joker)… and Batman had it coming, bastard. I just don’t see why anyone would need this firepower…unless you were being hunted a 17 headed ninja…then you’re screwed anyway.

homeschool, dillon cossey, Michele Cossey, no child left behind

Ok…I know I’m about to get blasted for this…or ignored…or have a legion of homeschoolers come roll my house…but not very well…but I really don’t understand the militant position most homeschoolers or homeschoolees take on their position. It’s like a cult. Very fast to jump on the anti public school wagon, but damn, don’t make a derogatory comment about home schooling. I have known a few…some have done very well in the world some have not…kinda like the world of those from public schools. Socially, they seem underdeveloped…especially directly after “graduation”. I’ve read the articles that shout accolades about homeschooling scores and placements and how awful public schools are. So here’s by 2 cents. (more…)

I got my degree in theatre from University of Montevallo in 1994. I worked for many years at the Alliance Theatre in Hot-lanta. I heave taught theatre at a couple high schools. I currently work in the theatrical light field. I have been extremely lucky to continue in the field my degree is in.

My wife graduated from a performing arts high school. She worked as a DJ for a while and does community theatre and some paid singing engagements. She also has been known to beguile a gentleman or three at open mic nights in the city. The first time I saw her, she was on stage.

We love performing arts. So, we are bring Jack up to appreciate them as well. He has easily seen more live performances than many adults.

We went and saw a very well done production of “A Year with Frog and Toad.” It was very cute. Jack walked around like the “Snail with the Mail” for hours afterwards. He also sang the tag line from the Snail’s song for a good day and a half…although he didn’t know the right words…it didn’t stop him. He really enjoyed the show.
It was a great family night out…and we took our friend Kari along…Jack needed someone to flirt with. He was excited about the show. He wasn’t feeling well at dinner, but given the choice of going home or the show, he picked the show. It did my heart good.

AND, “A Year with Frog and Toad” is required reading for 2nd grade. So he got a chance to see a story he had read come off the page. It was really cool.

You don’t have to be in the heart of american theatre to find something…but it does make it easier. So, keep a look out for local children’s shows.It’s a great opportunity to do something different, and let you child’s imagination go off in an entirely different direction…and you might enjoy it a little, too.

children’s theatre, theatre for young audiences, a year with frog and toad, independant musical productions

Let me paint a picture. You have just brought this angel home from the hospital. She is so little, helpless. You are very gentle with every movement and touch. Even her whimpers make you smile and almost cry.

Now, another picture, 6 weeks without sleep. Life has caught up to you. Bills, work, normal life…plus baby. The family has left, so your support is gone. It’s just you, your spouse, and this…creature. You’d love to tell everyone how much you’ve bonded with your baby…but the fact is you haven’t. You’re not even sure you like this thing. You haven’t touched…or been touched by…your spouse in weeks. The baby won’t stop crying, and it’s a different cry than that little one in the first days. This feels almost personal. Like nothing you do is good enough. Tonight, it’s just you and the demon spawn. Finally, she has quited down, after hours. You begin to set down, relax, and something happens…a dog barks, thunder, phone rings…and the baby explodes. You stomp your toe on the baby gate, almost break you neck, get to the child madder than a hornet, and… (more…)

We went to our first birthing class at Hunstville Hospital today. We opted for the 2 longer Saturday classes than the 6 week class. It wasn’t bad. Basic postpartum information. How the baby will look…which is like a smurf. What kind of things are normal (Baby zits and cradle cap…yum). What will we experience at the hospital and when we bring the baby home. Some breathing exercises and how to push. The class is actually a good way to introduce new parents to the basics. There are tons of questions to ask…that you don’t know you need to ask. They provide a list of things to pack…very helpful. She also talked us through terms that we will hear, like effacement and station, so we aren’t scratching our heads in the delivery room. There was also a comparison between vaginal birth and cesarean. It’s a lot of information that parents need to know before the contractions start.
Next week we watch some movies about actual births and take a tour of the hospital. I know the tour was very helpful in Atlanta…it was a huge baby making hospital. And we will learn where you can take the baby. Tony will have a house arrest bracelet on, and if anyone takes him to close to an exit or restricted area, alarms go off , elevators shut down, and the doors won;t open. Pretty cool.
Now, a lot of this could have been learned in a book, or talking with the doctor, but these classes really give you a chance to absorb everything that’s about to happen. They also give you a chance to met other pregnant couples. It was nice to see Jamie and her husband there. I also met Clint, who also is a theatre teacher (ok I use to be one) and his wife Jessica. There were many more…but I suck at names.

birthclass, postpartum, hospital, huntsville