Sympathy Pain

“We’re at places.”

Final dress rehearsal for the production of the Wiz I’m working on at Butler High School. The set is nit quite as finished as I would like. There are some good lighting effects I’ve created. Overall, the show is almost ready for an audience. They will have one the next morning.

“how late you planning on staying tonight,” ask Robert, the sound guy, “I might be here all night.”

Just then, the director gets a phone call.

“What?” she questions, “I don’t understand what you’re telling me…” and she walks out the booth.

“Loos like we are holding.” I tell our light board operator.

We start talking about some of the cues…when it goes dark for the entre act…so on, when Amy, our director, comes back in. She’s pale.

“I need to talk to you guys in the hall, and the music director.”

Crap, some kid’s been arrested…that’s my thought.

“That was Olivia, our producer, on the phone. Schools are closed until Monday. They have 2 suspected cases of swine flu in the county…shows are cancelled…”

It took us a while to wrap our heads around it. The kids had worked so hard. We were less than 12 hours away from an audience. We only have one weekend of shows…and the swine flu just took a dump on it.

Ok…we had to take health as our main focus. That was our only course of action. We would figure out doing the show later…some how. We had to let the kids know. We also decided to finish the rehearsal. Honestly, not know how bad it could get…this might be the last time school was open this year.

The kids had lots of questions…we had no answers.

“Lets video the rehearsal. That will give them a chance to see it later and have memories.”

Sounded great. But in the 30 minutes that it took to get the camera…some of the kids lost their shit. It was like wathing a little slice of mob mentality. We had girls “passing out”.
A couple altercations. I’m not sure if it was the flu scare or all the work for the show, but it happened.

We didn’t do the run through. We are now trying to figure out when we can get the paid musicians back…and the rented lighting gear…and when school will be open.

Swine flu 1 - Wiz 0

I love when he brings you a book, then turns around so you can pick him up and set him in your lap. It’s extremely sweet. And it’s almost the only time he snuggled anymore. What makes it extra nice is when he take a big ole dump while your reading to him. Nothing is better than being gased while reading “The Foot Book” by Dr. Seuss.

67 in a 45. That’s the first ticket I have gotten in 15 years. I was speeding…guilty. I was having an argument with my ex- in my head and late to rehearsal for a show I was directing…but all that aside, I was speeding.

In order to keep the points from going on my record, I took a defensive driving class. It was very informative. For example:

Princess Diana Died when her heart tore away from the main artery. She bled to death internally. The car was going 70 miles per hour when it hit the upright support for the tunnel. Her body then hit the seat in front of them and her organs hit the inside of her rib cage. The heart tore loose and she died in about 7/10 of a second.

Other things I learned…people are stupid. Not all of them, but about ½ of the class. And, as with most groups, there was one that was a shining example. A beacon of ignorance for her followers…

I have no idea of her name, but she was…special. Her stories would go something like this:

“Ok…so her is how it happened…I was drivin behind dis cop, right? An I knows he can’t clock be from behind, right? So, win he git over, I’d do too, right? An he gets over again, and I do too, right? then he gets smart and pulls over to the side of the road…and as soon as I pass, he gets me, cause what I gonna do, pull over wit him? Now, how he gonna do dat? Dat not right. He should have gave me a werning. I had tons of dem before I done moved up here from Mobile. How he gonna do that?”

And we were talking about Princess Diana when this outburst happened.

And believe me, the rest of the class laughed and laughed. I just found her stupid and annoying…and on our streets. I really think a stupidity test should be given along with the driving test. Let’s call it a common sense test. You should have to take one if you buy an SUV or van. AND if you buy a car seat for a child, you should have to do a child safety workshop.

 I thought this was absolutely awesome. I wanted to share.

Preschool Teacher

Okay, tell us the thing you’d never say to our face.
If a parent doesn’t follow my directions, I’ll assume her child won’t either. I give parents specific instructions — fill out these forms by this date, e-mail instead of calling, don’t put candy in your kid’s lunch. As soon you break my rules, that creates an immediate bias against your child. And most teachers feel the same way.

What’s the biggest secret among teachers?
Just as you have a preferred teacher you want for your kid next year, we have preferred students we want for our classrooms. How to become a preferred family? Start each school year by sending your teacher this e-mail: “Please provide me with a wish list of 10 things you would like for your classroom.” She’ll ask for things like Post-it notes, a chess set, a 50-cent deck of cards. When you spend maybe $20 on these items, it goes through the grapevine that you are here not just for your kid but for the entire class — that this is the family that cares about the community, whose child is probably a team player too.

I wonder if this would have helped last year.

Ok, when did I get old? I have come to the conclusion that teens should not drive to school. This is prompted my the fact that Jack and his mom had to put their car in the ditch to avoid being in a multi car incident on the way to school. A teen ager was not paying attention to the dozen cars in occupying the turn lane and rear ended them going 45 mph. messed up a handful of cars and a few minor injuries.

So it got me thinking. Why on earth do they have to drive to school. I say have to. It seems to me like there are alotta pluses to cutting this privilege out and not a lot of negatives.

Let’s just look at the state of the economy. Gas Prices. What would happen to oil demand if the roads were absent of teen drivers from 8:00 am to 3:30 pm? And the air quality? I mean, we have about 7 high schools in the county I live in. figure an average of 100 students driving per school that 700 ish cars added into the mix every day. That’s in one county. Some have more, some less, but that adds up fast.

Schools would have more space to expand. I’ve heard, on more than one occasion, that one school or another “just doesn’t have room to build new classrooms”. They would if they didn’t have to have student parking. That’s a whole wing of space that’s wasted.

What about safety. It’s almost a mob mentality at 3:30 when hormonal teenagers hit the road. Not all of them, but I have seen many a “street race” happen between car loads of teenagers. And, remember what started all this.

Insurance rates. I would think less time on the roads to have accidents would equate to lower rates…eventually. That one is a reach.

And, finally, attitude towards mass transit. A bus passes almost every house…or would if students couldn’t drive to school…and we teach our kids that as soon as you are old enough, get the hell off that bus. We are training our kids from the moment they learn to drive that public transportation is somehow debilitating. Your status is so much great when you drive to school than ride the bus…which also sets up social discrimination. The haves and have nots. Here’s an article about Cornell University’s attempt at public transportation…College kids…doing without cars.

So what are the cons? Some kids have to work. Well, if nobody drove, nobody could get to work until a certain time. Set your schedule so that you have time to get home and get to work. Most shifts wouldn’t mind a 15 or 30 minute different start time. Starting at 4:30 instead of 4:00 isn’t that much difference, especially if that’s universal.

One of my co workers said the bus came by her house at 6:00 am…and she wouldn’t have gotten up that early…um…I have nothing on that one. Seems like conveiency makes us lazy and we are teaching our kids that as well. I was one of the first stops on my bus route, and then 30 miles from school, so about an hour bus trip one way. It’s all I knew. You get up when you have to.

Just my soap box for the day…oh, my hip…

Jack started the third grade yesterday. It’s hard to believe. We are getting into grades I remember. I remember the morning Jack went to kindergarten. That was the last “first day at school” I had with him. It sucks…I gotta tell you. I remember him standing in the hall way with his back pack, trying to be brave. I’ve had to go off of bio mom reports since then.

I did pick him up after he got home from school yesterday. He rode the bus home for the first time.

“The bus driver’s mean…but he lets us have snacks on the bus…but other than that he’s mean.”

“Yeah, well, my bus driver turned your Aunt and I in for starting an egg fight on the bus…when we weren’t even on the bus that day.”

“well…I guess I won’t do that…”

“What, Jack?”

“Start an egg fight.”

“But, I didn’t, and got in trouble anyway.”

“oh…well does it hurt to get hit with an egg?”

“Never mind…”

He also has to wear his glasses full time now. I tried to lay on the “I wore them at everything was great” lie, but I think he saw through it. I hated wearing my glasses in school. Back then they were the heavy, gray framed, thick ass glasses. His are actually pretty good looking…but it still sucks.

So, the first day went rather well. New teacher. New girlfriend. New glasses. Hopefully this will be a better year. If not, I may have to cut somebody.

Jack is going into the third grade. We have survived the year with the teacher of doom. His class had the fewest honor roll students of all the 2^nd grade classes at his school. During awards day, his class didn’t cheer and yell when their teacher was announced. You would hope the principal was watching.

But it’s done. He’s now reading on a 4.5 grade reading level. Sarah and I have both recently read the first book in the “Spiderwick Chronicles” which falls into that level. I’m very excited about sharing this series with him, as we all continue to read them. Most of the Dahl books are higher in range, as are the Narnia book, but those are just around the corner. I’m very proud of his reading accomplishments.

As for next year’s teacher, bio mom filled out the “Learning Environment ” request the school sent out. They are trying to get feedback from the parents on what type of teacher would be best to assist the student in learning. Let me share these observations:

• Nurturing
  
• Gentle
  
• Someone who likes, appreciates, and enjoys boys.
  
• A younger teacher for a change of pace and a different vibe. I think a completely different environment will be most beneficial to Jack in creating the most successful year possible.
  
• Someone who is “tuned-in” to students and notices when they are “off their game” and tries to figure out the cause and resolve the situation.
  
• A creative environment. A teacher who will attempt more than one method of teaching material if students are not grasping the concept by the initial lesson. No attitude of “this is the way I do it, and if you don’t get it, then too bad.”
  
• More of a fluid, “go with the flow” because we can still get it done, attitude.
  
• High expectations. His reading level is up to a 4.5.
  
• Flexibility that can also be taught by example.
  
• A happy, supportive environment that incorporates positive reinforcement. Someone that will help him rebuild his confidence.
  
• A teacher that is organized (in reality, not just by claim) and is on top of STI entries.
  
• A teacher that can maintain the order and discipline of her classroom without stripping the dignity of her students. Someone who can have a firm hand without breaking self esteem.
  
• Someone who welcomes parental involvement.
  
• A teacher with school spirit (someone we might run into at a football or basketball game).

   

   

I think she’s a little fired up about this year’s teacher debacle. I’m looking forward to what comes from this evaluation and if it helps with the year ahead.

Here’s one of my e-mail updates…good info.

Ten surprises of new fatherhood
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

——————————————————————————–

At some point not long after the baby is born, just about every new father gets hit with a sharp jolt of reality: He’s a dad — with new responsibilities, new pressures, and new expectations to live up to. This seemingly basic epiphany comes early for some of us, before we leave the hospital. For others, reality may not set in for a few days. Sooner or later, though, we all come to realize that our lives have changed forever. Sometimes the changes are subtle, sometimes not so subtle. But they’re almost always surprising.

(more…)

My ex- and I get along pretty well. We share in Jack’s needs and wants. There are times we butt heads, usually falling into old patterns that caused the divorce to begin with. At other times, we are a united front. Here’s examples of both…within a 24 hour time period.

I dropped Jack of Sunday night, after a very full weekend of sports and family. He had no homework, which was awesome. However, not 3 minutes after leaving her house, she called me.

“Why didn’t he read his book? I sent it in his book bag.”

So I tried to explain that he had read other things, and she began to dove into my not being responsible for his education needs, and I…and so on. It was really kinda ridiculous. Not what the argument was about, but that the argument happened at all. It should have taken 5 minutes with the agreement being made that I would make sure reading books are considered homework and her agreeing that she needs to be clear about things I may not know since she is the primary care giver. But, it was 30 minutes of accusing and pseudo name calling. I guess 9 years of marriage will leave a few sore spots that take just a small verbal bomb to set off.

So the next night, After I had called to tell him goodnight, I was on the couch, feeding Tony, and the phone rings…as it does when your hands are full. It was the ex-
“Gotta second?”

I figured she was either still steamed about the book or going to apologize for the conversation.

“I’m feeding Tony, but yeah.”

“I’m going to talk to Jack’s principle and insist that he be taken out of this teacher’s class.” Hmmm, thinks I.

“What happened?”

“Well, he was asked to complete a math question on the board and got it wrong. It was the only one he got wrong out of the ten on his paper. The teacher, in front of the class, said ‘He didn’t belong in second grade’.”

My jaw hit the floor. Who says that? What kind of person says that to a 7 year old. He was crushed. He spent all last night saying he wasn’t smart enough to be in second grade. Now, he has an ‘A’ in math, and most of his grades are ‘B’s or high ‘C’s.

“Do you want me to come up?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t know if I can get a definitive time for a meeting, and you are almost an hour away. If I can, I’ll let you know and you can come up.”

“Well, do what you have to do. That’s not ok to say. If the principle won’t do anything, let me know and we can take other actions.” I was pissed, and so was she. We had a common enemy. We’ll see what happens

I guess that’s the way it will be. Their will be times when we go toe to toe over things, mainly because of our past, and others where we will be willing to go shoulder to shoulder.

Jamie, a friend of ours, is going through a rough time at 35 weeks. The doctor found protein in her urine at the last checkup. She’s at home, resting. She has to keep all urine to be tested for protein levels every couple days. She’s got to be miserable and nervous. Keep her and the baby in your thoughts.

I realized I really didn’t know much about the condition, so I went in search of a good explanation. I found this at FamilyDoctor.org. (more…)

It was a year ago today. I remember. It was a morning that I couldn’t shake the fog outta my brain. Even when our resident EMT said a bushad flipped off the interstate, it didn’t register. Then I heard it was my school. Life became overly clear. I had to go. Even though I wasn’t working there anymore…I had to.

It’s been a year, but it still makes my heart stop to think about it.

Monday, November 20, 2006

I didn’t want to know
I left work around 10:45. Couldn’t be at work if my kids were hurting. I was at Lee until after 3:00. I didn’t want to know any names. I didn’t want to hear any details. I just wanted to help then think later. The faculty at Lee was amazing. About 75% of the school was checked out in about 4 hours. The school was in upheaval. I just wanted to help. What I did was unimportant. I just became part of the machine. I worked…and hugged. There were people from the board of education helping. Teachers from Lee’s sister schools. 2 ex principals. Parents. ex-teachers. counselors. Students.

I knew them…some maybe by face alone. Some by name. Yes, I knew the one’s who have passed. they were not my magnet bunch, but they were still my kids. I had one in a class for about 2 minutes last year. I remember. Christine, Nicole, and Tenisha. I remember.

I came home…and cried, alot. I can’t imagine what is going on in those families. I can’t imagine what is going on with the students who were friends. I just can’t.

The school has been through so much since then. My seniors have graduated. I’m about to be a dad. But in my mind, time stands still when I think about that day. Say a prayer for the families and victims. If it hits me this hard a year later…I can’t imagine what they go through daily.

I opened Yahoo today, and saw a slew of public schools gone wrong stories. I wanted to share, out of equal time and all.

Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter. The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday.

Damn. I agree Public displays of affection can go too far…I saw it all the time, but this is ridiculous. Especially in middle school and between to of the same sex. It’s just very communist…if you will. Now, she had been warned before, so there’s that part of me that’s like…that’s just dumb on her part. But the rule seems alittle out of control.

TUUSULA, Finland - An 18-year-old student opened fire in a Finnish high school Wednesday, killing seven students and the principal before turning the gun on himself, police said.

This kid had been posting videos on You Tube. It makes my heart sink to think of what happened in that school. Ans it seems it was avoidable.

A middle school student…fleeing to Mexico…I got nothing. And I’m not the only one sickened by this stuff.

This is why I want to be involved in my community and its schools. I don’t want to take care of only my house while the rest of the world goes to hell. I will protect my family, be involved in there spheres of involvement, and hopefully raise children who will continue to make a difference in the big picture.

Every year the NEA passes a set of resolutions. I’d like to say that I am not one of those “well if the NEA says it, it must be so”, guys. They did help me with some legal issues that arose while I was teaching, so I believe they can be a great help to educators, but I am not a blind follower. I do, however like to read the resolutions to see what the climate of the NEA is from year to year.

So in the LEARNING ISSUES NOT RELATED TO SPECIFIC DISCIPLINES section of this year’s resolution, right after the B-74. Classroom Use of Animals is the section on home schooling.

B-75. Home Schooling
The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice
cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. When home schooling occurs,
students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of
assessments to ensure adequate academic progress. Home schooling should be limited to the children of
the immediate family, with all expenses being borne by the parents/guardians. Instruction should be by
persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved
by the state department of education should be used.
The Association also believes that home-schooled students should not participate in any
extracurricular activities in the public schools.
The Association further believes that local public school systems should have the authority to
determine grade placement and/or credits earned toward graduation for students entering or re-entering
the public school setting from a home school setting. (1988, 2006)

I am putting no opinion here, I just want to get your thoughts and feed back. I’m still getting hits on the home school conversation from old, so I wanted to show a little of the research I’ve been doing.

And, fyi, I’ve been quoted once again on Summer’s site. I never intended to become the bad guy or the focal point for the home school nations ire, but, so be it.

home school, nea

Have you ever taken the time to think back along amnesia lane and see who most affected your life? With all the talk about homeschooling, and the latest saying that…

the purpose of public schools is not to teach social skills, and in fact they aren’t good at it…

I began to think about it, and I agree.
(more…)

Before I start…I have to say that I never new they went away…Sock Monkeys…

Anyway. I love the updates I get from a few sites about the development of the baby. They all give approximate weight and length, but then they differ slightly in the rest of the information they send. Here’s a few things I learned with this weeks update…a sample, if you will, for those who don’t use them. (more…)