Site Meter Sympathy Pain » custody

custody

Jekyll and Hyde

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

Since the beginning of time, kids tune into which parent plays what roles and prey on that. Who will say yes to ice cream? Who will say yes to a sleep over? Who will say yes to a week in Amsterdam at an opium din? It happens. I did it. I watched my sister do it. It was different for each. I could do no wrong in my Mom’s eyes…not that I ever did. My sister is my Dad’s child.
(more…)

It’s hard…

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

Last year, my son went through a really hard period with spelling homework. Never with myself or Sarah, by he would, for lack of a better phrase, attack his mom. It was hard to listen to him over the phone throwing these tantrums. A couple times, I went up to get him, which really was not either one of us wanted to happen.

It got better and seemed to go away as school continued. His grades got better and he settled into a nice groove. It was, however, very frightening. What if it continued, what to do? My ex thought it might be medical. I thought possible family therapy. It never came to that.

22969111.jpgI guess, I grew up before the “huggy, feel good therapy” 80’s or “mood altering prescription drug” 90’s. It’s hard to grasp anything more than discipline being the answer to behavior problems. I had, however, accepted these other avenues as options. I have no way of helping out when he’s not here. I can’t do anything, so I guess I hoped family therapy or medical help would fill in where I couldn’t. I talked to his teacher, hoping I could impress on her what I needed someone to know. I wanted to help, but had no idea how too. The behavior never surfaced here. My hands are tied with things that happen there but not here.

So, his spelling grades are not in the passing range for the first 3 weeks. We did homework last night, and he scored an 85 on a mock spelling test. He stayed realitivly focused. Great.

I get a call at 5:00 telling me not to come to football practice because he had failed some papers today because he didn’t do the back of the page, and he had to set in the “yellow corner” in class. He socred a 65 on the mock test at her house. I could hear him shouting in the background…it froze me all over again..

Welcome to the family

Sunday, June 24th, 2007

We are newlyweds…I guess. October 14. We lived in sin for about a year before that. Still, sometimes hearing the self proclaimed lifetime bachelorette/never having children Sarah say certain things catches me off guard.

blue.bmp“Bad dog, we don’t eat Power Rangers.”

It’s strange, the duality that is my house. Jack’s room stays shut most of the time, to keep down on the power bill. Then, every two weekends, we become a house with a kid. This weekend, our pointer ate 2 pirates, a cannon, and a power ranger. We started a science experiment to see whose mouth would grow more bacteria, Jack’s, the dog’s, or the cat’s. Our female cat was not keen on this and snapped the q-tip in half we were using for sampling her cheek.

So, every two weekends also becomes a strange new world for Sarah. I know sometimes a seven year old can be very…different to be around. His energy is manic and he feels the need to be the center of attention. So it’s not always easy for Step-mom Sarah. Especially we we loose a hero like the blue ranger. She does an amazing job though. I am impressed with her instinct and parenting skills. This baby will have an amazing mom.

Hump day.

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

wed.bmpAnother wednesday. Some people see it as half way through the week. Some as church night. To most, it’s not very remarkable. To me, it is the best and worst day of the week, every week.

It’s the day I have my son. I look forward to it.

Around 10:00 a.m. every wednesday, I get a text message from bio mom confirming the pick up time.

“3ish” is almost always the answer.

Everyone at work knows I leave at about 2:30 to go pick him up. I hate when anything delays me. I try to be at his house at 3.

3:30 we are back at my house, and have caught up with what the day had been. We talk about what we want to do. I check in with Sarah about her schedule. We figure out dinner.

We then do…something. Games, ride bikes, homework, go to the movies…but whatever it is, 7:00 is the ending time. Then back to bio mom’s house. No matter how hard we hard we play, or much we laugh, or how far we go, it is bookended.

Usually, the 3 if us drive him home. It helps to have Sarah on the ride home. Tonight i didn’t. I miss him. The car seems so quite after having his laugh fill it.

There it is, my favorite and least favorite day. This is my weekend with him, so that’s something. Those wednesdays without the upcoming weekend with him are heightened on both ends of the spectrum.

About Sympathy Pain

The "Sympathy Pain" blog is a father's view of what is generally viewed as "woman only" territory, pregnancy. The blog also looks into the blended family and how a new addition affects that family. "Sympathy Pain" is not a battle of the sexes sight, but rather, an open forum for moms and dads.

Sympathy Pain Author(s)
    » Bryan-Comer

Blogging Flair

Parenting & Family Channel Posts

  • Learning the Unwritten Rules of High School
    *Naturally this post and the last one and probably the next one relates mostly to public schools, but I think that is ok, especially with all the home school talk we've been doing...and hey, you [...]
  • The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish
    In one of my earlier posts, the one where I tell you how ridiculous I think homework is, someone commented by referring me to the book The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy [...]
  • Saturday PSAs!
    This past week I received a couple of emails that let me know about a couple opportunities for our Teens. It's important to help them get involved in the community, to be aware of those around them [...]
  • Meeting people in the strangest places...
    The other night at the tattoo place, I was sitting waiting my turn.  There was a couple across the way from me who had came to Panama City Beach in an effort to flee New Orleans.  The [...]
  • Important Re-Call Information: Action Baby Carrier
    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE September 3, 2008 Release #08-389 Firm's Recall Hotline: (866) 208-0269 CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772 CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908 Optave Inc. Recalls Action [...]
  • Entering High School
    I remember when I entered the ninth grade.  I had gone to a small school with less than 100 students in 9 grades (K-8).  That means I have a special place in my heart for small [...]
  • Ok, now, back to Homework, Medication and my Own Child
    At age three, my very own flesh and blood was out of control.  Part of it was because his parents *ducking my head in shame* didn't know how to deal with him, part of it because he really has [...]
  • What Is A Yogo Anyway?
    We were never allowed to have horrible snacks in our house and by horrible, I mean the good kind. I think the most outrageous snacks we had on hand were Kudos bars, you know the chocolate covered [...]
  • Tread Lightly
    As you may or may not know, my local newspaper ran an interview with me in this past Monday's paper.  It was actually on the front page.  So, as I continue to write in various places, I [...]
  • Busy Summer & Crazy Kittens
    This summer has been hectic but its been fun and full of ups and downs. I won't whine too much or bore you with all the dirty details of the negative stuff. Suffice to say I pulled my back and [...]

Hot Off The Press

  • A Book by Any Other Name - South
    Welcome to this week’s A Book By Any Other Name! The game works like this: Each week I will choose a word and offer a few titles that I’ve come up with containing that word in the title. Then [...]
  • Season Three Begins!
    All new shows, starting Monday, September 8th! Hurray! Here's what we have to look forward too this week! Monday Rachael vs. Simon: Our Idol Set Crash We're kicking off Season 3 in a very [...]
  • Sports Wrap Up and Coming Up
    Wrap Up of results from September 1-7, 2008 D.C. United (MLS) 9/3 vs. Charleston Battery Won 2-1 9/6 @ San Jose Earthquakes Lost 1-2 Washington Mystics 9/2 vs. Indiana Lost 68-79 9/6 vs. Detroit [...]
  • The Post-Game Reality Check
    [caption id="attachment_566" align="aligncenter" width="184" caption="Reggie White leading prayer after the 1997 Super Bowl"][/caption] As I have stated before, I am a huge football fan. Any sport [...]
  • When a Memory Becomes a Scar
    I haven't talked much about a couple of things here that are central to my life and possibly you can relate.  One of those is my weight.  I'm big.  I'm 200 pounds big.  I have [...]
  • Do you think Hooters should have been allowed to build on Mission Street?
    "Yeah, it's just a restaurant open to all ages." Reggie Brown, Flint freshman "Yeah, there is nothing wrong with it. I see girls dressed worse on campus." Jade Gonzalez, Dearborn [...]
  • Lindsay and Sam do the VMAs...
    ... and she looked stunning, as usual! From the front rows of the New York's Byrant park fashion shows, to the red carpet fun at MtV's Video Music awards, we can always count on Lindsay to make a [...]
  • Pimlott's two goals lead team in first game
    The Central Michigan University men's club soccer team started its season with a 6-1 home win against Eastern Michigan on Saturday. "We needed this win to start this year," said freshman Ryan [...]
  • Win an Autographed Ouran High Wall Scroll
    To celebrate the upcoming release of Ouran High in the US, I decided to buy an Ouran High wall scroll. On my way to the Walk of Fame to get it autographed I had an idea. I stopped by the dealers [...]
  • The road to Tucson
    I was alone in D.C. with just my luggage, a Turkish exchange student whose visa was about to run out. I'd just completed a leadership program in New York City and needed to get to Tucson for [...]