Blended Birthday Party.
Jack turned seven over the weekend. I called bio-mom a few weeks back to plan the party. I realize that we have it pretty good. She and I still talk, mostly about Jack, but sometimes we venture into family or old friends. We were married and involved in each other’s families for 9 years. I know that some people let there marriages/divorce get to the point that there must be a mediator involved to drop the kids off for visitation. I’m lucky.
I would not even think about talking to her if it wasn’t for Jack. Not that I hate her…just different outlooks and personalities.
So anyway, we had a bowling party. My wife and I were there right beside bio-mom. We all worked well together. No body slapped anyone else. There was laughter. Jack had a blast. That’s really all that mattered.
I’m not naive to think that everyone can get along with the ex-. I know every story is different. However, please make the attempt. Put aside all the history and hurt feelings and remember, it’s all about your child. You’re divorced. Stop caring what they are up to. Stop trying to get info out of your child. Don’t let your anger get in the way of your child seeing the two of you interact as adults. It’s important in this world were 50% of marriages end up in divorce. Show them how adults act in the face of emotional baggage.
June 5th, 2007 at 11:52 am
I can’t agree more. Children are very ego-centric–I don’t mean that in a bad way, just that they believe the world revolves around them, just look at the peek-a-boo game. They close their eyes and assume becuase they can’t see you you can’t see them. Because of this, the have a hard time understanding how a divorce can be anybodies fault but their own. Watching parents fight or backstab hurts and they can’t separate seeing that from the guilt they experience, even though they have nothing to do with it.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am
[...] of…somewhere else. They were speaking of relationships with ex spouses. Now, the ex and I have a pretty good relationship, so this isn’t a “slam the baby momma” post, but the example they were talking [...]