ADHD-I
I remember being 8. I remember not really enjoying school. I sucked a spelling test. I wasn’t really into reading. I’d much rather ride hide under the apple tree in the back yard with my dog Sooner than be inside…doing anything else. Or climbing the pecan tree that had a nice long low limb out and get to bouncing on. Or even climbing up in the hay loft and seeing if anyone would come looking for me.
Back then we didn’t have terms like Attention Deficit Disorder, or Attention Deficit and hyperactivity disorder. Maybe I would have been test for it and maybe even diagnosed with it. Instead it was just threats and punishments to get me in line.
We’ve tried threats and punishments with the boy. He’s 8. His teachers refer to him as “Space Cadet Jack”…never to him, just as a description to us. He either has A’s on his papers or grades in the 30’s. Timed test are extremely difficult and stressful for him. He forgets anything we asked him to do. He has problems remembering simple task at school or home. His penmanship is pretty bad. He gets pretty angry when these things happen and are brought to his attention. He’s not a bad kid, by any stretch. He’s not overly hyper. He’s smart and well liked. He’s just a space cadet.
His mom had him evaluated for ADHD. We have talked about this possibility for the last few months. The above paragraph is an exact description for Inattentive ADHD. It’s what was once simply called Attention Deficit Disorder. There’s really no hyperactivity, just the inability to remain focused.
“So how is he taking it?” I asked her after they had talked to the doctor. I had this fear that he would be really upset.
“He did great. He talked with the doctor about school and his issues there. They talked about how he felt when those times happen. Honestly…I think he was relieved. There is a plan now to make his situation better.”
He’s on medication now.
I really haven’t read up on it yet, but I will. It’s what I do.
I really just hope that this medicine doesn’t drown out the spark I see in him. He is so alive; I don’t want some medicine changing that. And yet, I don’t want him going through his days suffering the effects of the inability…not the unwillingness…to concentrate. He’s a smart kid and really deserves to not dread school because of something he can’t control. It just scares me.
March 28th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
I totally understand where you are. Erin was diagnosed with the exact same ADHD type back in November. It was a horrible struggle for us to allow her to be placed on meds. She is on a 30mg dosage of Vyvanse once a day. It has made a huge difference in her. We are still working with her on the “remembering” aspect of things-bringing home the lunch box, homework, violin case,etc. But her grades have made a huge improvement and she says that it’s nice to actually remember what Ms. Griffis said in class that day not just the color of her blouse or what was going on outside the window. Her social skills have gotten better and she is making friends easier. It was hard for me to realize how truly unhappy she was because she always felt like an outsider. The doctor encouraged us to do our homework on the condition so that we could explain it to her in terms she would understand and so that we could aid her in gaining control.Our doc said that 90% of time the kids who have this are of the chart when it comes to intelligence. He also said that it is the most over used diagnoses around so he understood my fear with it. We have chosen to keep it out of her school record for now but her teacher is aware and we have been very blessed to have a teacher who works hand in hand with us for what is best for Erin. We are hoping that she’ll outgrow it when she reaches puberty. It’s a 50-50 chance. Crap shot any way you look at it. Remember that Jack will take his cues from the adults around him. My mom and stepdad are very on board with this and Ray’s mom thinks she just needs to be in church more (gag). Erin is coming to terms with it in her own way. She can tell you that she doesn’t like taking the meds (because she can’t swallow a pill yet we have to mix it into a bite of applesauce) but she is very honest with you that she needs it to “calm her brain”. My best advice is do your homework. Find what techniques will aid Jack the best. Bounce it off of other parents who have been there or better yet are there. Be his advocate. If he looks like he’s drugged or sluggish question his dosage. It took us a couple of months to get Erin’s right. Above all encourage him to talk to you and Sarah (and bio mom and hubby) at any point about how he’s feeling and what’s going on. He’s the best souce for information. You guys are great parents and you’ll get through this but it a process (we know) and not an overnight fix. Hang in there.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I have only one personal brush with ADHD. A cousin who we all hated (And you have to realize, I have over 50 first cousins) and dreaded his appearance at the family reunions. Till he got diagnosed and medicated.
This was in the dark ages, there weren’t a lot of meds, and he did go through the bad time of sluggishness and withdrawal. But in the end, over time, his meds leveled out, he leveled out and this bright kid became a wonder to behold, and is now a high school history teacher, doing something he loves and doing it well.
I fear that I have a case much too similar to Jack’s brewing with Sean. I see much in what you’ve described. Hang in there, I may be calling you in a year or so and need your wisdom and advice.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:57 am
he he… you said wisdom…