Sympathy Pain

My wife and I decided to treat ourselves to I-Phones. What does this have to do with pink eye? Wait for it… We met for lunch at the Apple Store. Ok, we atr at Red Robin, but then walked over, in 127 degree heat to the store. As we stood there, getting everything ready to switch over phones, I get a call from the daycare on my old phone…here it comes.

“Your child is sick. He’s projectile vomiting and had 100.8 fever.”

“well…as soon as I fulfill my selfish technology needs, I’ll be there to pick him up.”

So, I pick him up, and he’s being held by one of the workers, being really grumpy. This is not his norm so I know he’s not feeling well. I look at his chart, and he’ eaten almost every 2 hours. Well damn, I think, I’d throw up too. He just, that morning, started eating more in his bottle, so I figure…more food…more frequency…bingo…

Until I read the rest of his chart. “Green discharge from the eyes.” Crap.

Sure enough, we have Pink eye…itch itch…

What the hell is pink eye. On “knocked up” they get it from fecal matter on pillows. Eww.

Conjunctivitis, commonly known as pinkeye, is an inflammation of the conjunctiva, the clear membrane that covers the white part of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids.

While pinkeye can sometimes be alarming because it may make the eyes extremely red and can spread rapidly, it’s a fairly common condition and usually causes no long-term eye or vision damage. But if your child shows symptoms of pinkeye, it’s important to see a doctor. Some kinds of pinkeye go away on their own, but other types require treatment.

Conjunctivitis can be caused by infections (such as bacteria and viruses), allergies, or substances that irritate the eyes.

There’s more to the article, like how to treat and prevent. All I know is that baby is pissed off.

Sarah’s at rehearsal tonight. “Annie”…no she not playing Annie, even though she has the redhead thing happening. But tech week for a show means Tony and I have the house to ourselves. We had a great evening, with a trip to Home Depot and McDonalds…sorry honey…and watching “Avatar”…I’m addicted.

I put him down at the regular time…watched some more “Avatar” and started to go to bed myself.

I stopped by his room for one last stroke of his hair…then it hit me. Something was missing…and it wasn’t one of those “I can’t put my finger on it” moments. I knew.

This was supposed to be a Jack weekend. But his Step Father wanted to take him camping. It was going to happen last week, but the step dad had to have a chunk of Brown Recluse bite taken outta his leg. So I said OK. Jack was excited.

But, tonight, when that moment hit, it took me down the hall to Jack’s room. It’s so cold and empty when he’s not here. Sometimes it’s less…palpable. Sometimes, like tonight, it hit me in the chest.

I remembered back to right after the separation. Jack was about 2 years older than Tony is now. I lived in a small 2 bedroom house. I refused to go back to an apartment. If his mom had a house, so would his dad. Divorce logic. He would sleep with me when he came over. I wouldn’t sleep. Just watch him. I had twin sized fitted sheets over the windows as curtains. They let a lot of light in. I wondered if he would be ok with the separation…divorce…not seeing me for days on end. I really wondered if he would ever trust me…divorce logic.

So I missed tucking him in tonight. It may seem like a small occurrence, but there are times when it is the small stuff that that kicks you square in the teeth.

I’m a huge believer in kissing. I think every woman deserves to be reminded that she is a woman from time to time with a heartfelt kiss. Now one of those “see ya later, gotta go” kisses, or even the “get ready, sex is emanate” kisses, but a real “this is because you are the most amazing woman I know” kiss.

In this crazy world, we sometimes forget to show the woman we love exactly how much she means. We forget that a kiss, one that gives butterflies, is one of the best ways to show it. I know men who think kissing is something you do as a salutation, but a real kiss can happen at any time. The best are the ones that are spontaneous and unexpected. Getting into a car to go to the super market. At the supermarket. Sitting around watching football…or “so you think you can dance”. Laying in bed, talking. No occasion. No grand exit. And no expectations. The best kisses are those without strings attached. Now, I’m not saying that it may not lead to other things, but the best ones don’t start with a “plan”.

I can’t tell you how to kiss…everyone is different and wants to be kissed in special ways. I’m not a “I’m going to eat your face” kisser. Sometimes I do have that “devour her” urge, but that’s different. I can’t stand the “eyes wide open” kiss either…it’s like kissing a fish. My wife and I think the other is the world’s best kisser…which works out well. So, whatever way your lover likes to be kissed, discover it. Use it. Experiment. But don’t forget the power it can wield. I guarantee, if you do it right, you’ll feel the butterflies too. It will also do the kids good to see that you guys still get mushy, but don’t get too crazy in front of the kiddies.

I am…again…out of town on business. In Atlanta this time. My home town. I had an evening meeting cancel, so I decided to treat myself to a flick. When I was in Wisconsin, my lovely bride went to see the new Batman movie. So I decided this was a good time to go see it.

It was great. I enjoyed it muchly…but here’s where the parenting theme of this page comes in. Once again, I was amazed at the lack of some parents to read. The marquis clearly said “PG-13″. It was even printed on the ticket. And yet, only a few rows away, I had a 5 year old sitting with his parents. Even the “approved for R audiences” Previews were too intense. He did not like them. I heard him through the entire movie saying he was scared and wanted to go home. I probably wouldn’t let my 8 year old watch this film.

Sarah and I went to “Texas chainsaw massacre”, and had the same experience. Really…what part of that title screams “Kid Flick!”. It just amazes me that parents are so selfish that they can’t either find a babysitter or wait till the movie comes out on DVD. At what part do you think “Gee, a movie remake of a horror cult classic…that won’t bother my 3 year old…maybe it will be educational…baby Einstein my ass.”

It just is another example why you should have to take a test before you can procreate… and maybe you should have to retest ever couple years…just to make sure you haven’t developed a case of the stupid.

The bulb syringe was a foreign object to Sarah when Tony was born. I know there was one at the birth, but she was to busy to notice. It’s not something that we use in everyday adult life. So I saw this article and thought I’d pass it along.

When should I use a bulb syringe?

When your baby has a cold or a stuffed-up nose, you can use a rubber bulb syringe to remove some of the mucus. Clearing her nose when it’s stuffy will probably make it easier for her to breathe, eat, and sleep.

In addition to the syringe, you’ll need saline drops to moisten and loosen up the mucus in your baby’s nose before you try to suction it out. You can buy saline drops at pharmacies or make them easily at home by dissolving 1/4 teaspoon of salt in 8 ounces of warm water. Make a fresh batch each day and store it in a clean, covered glass jar. (If you get your water from a well, it’s a good idea to boil the water first to sterilize it.)

How do I use the syringe?

Your baby probably won’t enjoy it, but it’s not painful or hard to do. It’s best to try the procedure before rather than after a feeding, so that if your baby gags from the saline or suctioning she’ll be less likely to spit up her food.

How do I clean the syringe?

I’m in Madison Wisconsin…yep…in the land of cheese curds and brats. And Bret Farve. This was a story in the local news today.

I’m up here at a dealer training for one of the theatrical lighting line I sale. It’s one of those evil necessities of the job. I flew up Wednesday and am here until Sunday.

I miss my family. I especially miss my wife. It’s funny, I see men up here, slobbering over women, like they were just released from jail, and it’s simply because they are away from the “old’ ball ‘n chain”. And not every woman is all that much of a catch. Here I am sit at 9:28 pm, while my fellow sales people are down stairs, regaling each other with more and more impressive tails of days “touring with the Stones”, trying, all the while, to snuggle close to a member of the opposite sex. It’s mostly harmless flirting, but it’s a reaction I don’t understand. I fell like one of the only adults in a sea of teenagers. Ok, in all fairness, my roomy is up here to, so we are just two old guys…or two guys who don’t need to be children when our families are out of sight.

I network in my own, subdued way, I guess. These people wouldn’t remember me tomorrow anyway. I’m witty in classes, charming at the meals, and I will prove myself at volley ball and bowling Saturday evening. I feel no need to also feel miserable every morning and miss out on the classes that will help me make more money for my family. And, I get to read articles about corn mazes and Brett.

He brings an energy to this house. Sometimes is feels like the house is going to vibrate of its foundation because of it, but I like it. He’s always brought an energy and vitality to my life. He’s the reason I made it through some of the dark parts of my life. When I didn’t like who I was or what I was letting happen to me, he made me laugh..and want to be a better dad.

I should be there. I should be there every time he wakes up. I should be there every time he gets home from school. I should be there everytime he does his homework. I should be there when he goes to sleep.

I’m not.

That’s why I sometimes cry after I take him home.

6 to 9 Months

What Your Baby Likes: Seeing people he recognizes, interactive games, cause-and-effect toys.

What’s Behind the Smiles: By 9 months, he’s beginning to understand object permanence, the concept that an object or person still exists even after leaving his line of sight. He’ll show you he understands this when he cranes his neck over his stationary activity center or high chair after a toy falls to the floor. He’ll like it all the better if you pick up the toy for him to toss over the side again.

His memory is growing now, too, so what left him laughing yesterday — hearing his sister sing a silly tune — might make him chuckle days later when she does it again, says Michelle Gross, a developmental psychologist who directs a Centers for Disease Control-contracted parenting research project for kids from birth to age 5.

What You Can Do: Initiate a game of peekaboo. He’ll also like having you help him hide a stuffed animal or toy under a blanket and asking, “Where’d it go?”

Play a modified game of airplane with your baby by lying on your back, knees bent, and placing him on your shins. Make whooshing sounds as you gently “fly” him back and forth and side to side.

Toys that allow your baby to push a button and watch something pop up are sure to induce a smile. I remember adding voices to a pop-up toy featuring a farmer, cows, horses, and sheep. Emma would bust out laughing at my deep “Farmer Fred” voice.

Making dinner and need a distraction for your baby? Offer up a couple of pots and pans along with a wooden spoon. He’ll like knowing he’s capable of creating such a racket. Speak to him as you both “cook”: “Mommy is making mashed potatoes for dinner tonight. What are you making? Looks like green beans! Stir ‘em up!”

I’m not that dad. I’m just not. I have a degree from a liberal arts college for Christ’s sake.

But when my 8 year old son said he didn’t want to play baseball anymore and wanted to do swim team instead, something happened. He had almost hit the game tying homerun in the playoffs. He was finally showing aptitude in a sport other than Wii Fit. We…I…had put lots of time and money into baseball sign up fees, parking at every playoff game, bats, gloves, cleats…you get the idea. And now, after 3 weeks of swim team…maybe a total of 2 hours actually in the pool, he wants to drop out of any future baseball and be a swimmer? I even bought a county athletics t-shirt. Come on.

He has this habit of coming to the end of a season and, especially if they don’t win the tournament, not wanting to play that sport the next year. Football was the worst…but he’s signed up for football now and excited. This year, after not making it to the final four, he wants to dump baseball. And he ALMOST hit a home run…over the park, not some keystone cop, little league, between the legs home run.

I do hate all the practices and games on late week nights, but its baseball. And he has practice 3 nights a week and on Saturday for an hour every week for swimming. So it’s not much better…if at all. Swim meets are like 3 ½ hours long, and your kid is in the water 3 minutes…tops. Then you have to watch everyone else’s kid, from age 6 to 18 swim, for. For 3 ½ hours…at a hot pool…that you can’t jump into.

His mom, or so he says, is on his side. She is the one usually pushing base ball, but now she’s on the board and involved in the politics. Don’t even get me started down that road. So, if he is to be believed, she is ok, after years of little league, to give into his whim after 3 weeks of practice. Hmmm.

So, we shall see. I always thought this kinda thing would affect me. “Let him do what he wants” I always thought. But…it’s baseball. If he wanted to do both, while they do overlap, that would make me feel better…I guess.

your baby
How your baby’s growing: It’s happening already…your baby is showing the first stirrings of independence. By seven months he can sit well without support and may begin crawling (or bottom shuffling). Some babies this young can even pull themselves up to a standing position while holding onto furniture. If he’s not yet a puller, he’s more than likely a good propper; that is, if you stand him next to the sofa, he’ll probably be able to maintain the posture, hanging on for dear life. With this new independence comes the inevitable bumps and falls of childhood. No matter how carefully you childproof, he’s bound to bonk his elbows or knees someday, so don’t get too upset when it happens.

I’m not ready. I refuse to be. I feel like we just struck an awesome balance of personality and needs. He’s funny. He makes us laugh till it hurts. I love watching him discover his world. I love to see his face when Sarah or Jack comes in the room. I’m not ready for him to be mobile. I’m not ready for him to be “independent”.

I set on the couch this morning watching him in his bouncy set, once again chewing on “Mr. Pig” and terrorizing “Mr. Horsey”. His squeal filled the house and the dogs would come running to lick his face. He’d laugh every time they did. I’m not ready for that to end.

They talk about him developing separation anxiety…I’m just saying, I’m going to miss my little Binja.