Sympathy Pain

It’s like poker night…in an alternate universe. You know…the guys hanging out, pretending that Poker is the reason to be there. You know it’s really about the beer and smokes. All the while the “woman” of the house is trying to stay out of the way, take care of the baby, and be available if needed.

Sarah had Book club last night at the house. Let me say, it was really nice to have a house big enough to have the monthly event at. I knew she was excited about revealing our new abode to the Coven and their supporters. So, I wanted to be there to let that happen. I knew having the 6 month old in the room, while cute, was not conducive to the “book club” vibe.

So after Jack swam in is swim meet, I hurried to my house to find it full of intellectual women, sipping wine, eating finger foods, and swapping stories. I do think there was a book present…but I’m not sure how much was discussed. So, I took the baby and we hung out in Jack’s room. Nothing like having a toddler watch you play Wii…he loves the raving rabbids. I then feed him and off to bed he went… while the joviality continued in the living room. I also watched “Baby Borrowers“…which may deserve a post of its own.

After all the ladies had left, I helped clean up the snacks and such. I know that Sarah did most, if not all, of the prep for the party, but I really had that feeling of being the house wife at a poker game. But, honestly, this group was much hotter and more intelligent than any poker outing I’ve ever seen.

Check out this video: Slow Motion Baby Laughing

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It’s the general consciences about Tony. He’s an extremely laid back baby. I know as result of writing this that he is changing into a demon child. However, that’s what we get all the time.

Consequently, I think all other children his age are on crack.

This weekend, I had to pick up a dryer from Best Buy. I had lined up a truck and timed my day, but hadn’t really thought about the fact that I was the lone parent and the car seat couldn’t go in a truck. So Saturday morning I had to do some begging of friends to watch Tony while I made this happen. Sandra, the grandmother of Maddie, agreed to watch him. So I slapped some food in him and off we went.

Now, Maddie is about a month and a half older than Tony, so she is more advanced in motor skills and such, but I wasn’t prepared for the difference in personality. It was like night and day. Maddie was almost vibrating, looking around, reaching for mom, trying to see Tony. Tony…could care less. Just laid back and watched.

“It was hard to tell when he was unhappy.” Sandra said.”He always seems ok.”

I thought maybe this is just the difference between these two, but then we went to dinner with the Ronda and Steve.

Tony was playing, setting up, with a toy. He lost his balance and fell over…and laughed.

“Our’s would never have laughed. They would have cried.” Steve said with the sound of disbelief.

Then this morning, his teacher (is that the right term for daycare?) went on and on about how good and happy of a baby he is.

“The only time he is fussy is when he’s hungry, dirty, or tired. And we can do something about that, but even then, he’ll try to smile the whole time he is whimpering. The other babies will wail for no reason, and he just takes it in stride”

I think he has adopted his parents outward, laid back, attitude. Our house is usually very quiet and non manic. I think that makes a huge difference with a baby…or he’s just waiting to let loose now that I’ve publicized his mellowness.

It was about mid day Tuesday when I began to feel uneasiness. There was something wrong in the universe. I felt as if my marriage was beginning to crumble and my morality was being attacked. I couldn’t figure it out. Then I saw the news…

“Gay marriage makes history in Kern County, California, dozens of gay couples wed”

Oh wait…it was just gas. Nothing cosmically horrible occurred. The ground didn’t open up and swallow the human race. Life as we know it didn’t come to an end. Gay couples just had their relationship recognized legally.

Now I try not to talk about things political here, but this is a story that relates to families and parenting. I have always felt that if you are lucky enough to find happiness, grab on to it. If that happiness is with someone of the same sex, who am I to judge. It’s not a question of religion, it a question of law. How does the law see these couples. It should see them in the same way that it sees all questions of sex and race, blindly.

I was raised in a very conservative home. I then went into theatre, which is one of the most liberal fields. I have met many gay men and women. I have been accused of being one myself. I have to say, some of the greatest and most influential people in my life have been gay. Some of the best parents I know are gay. They are happy, in love, and bring up a child with 2 loving parents.

Also, why do we, the straight, think we’ve got the corner on marriage? It seems to me that we breeders have been the ones screwing up the idea of marriage for hundreds of years.

I awoke this morning to a little baby snuggling up next to me. This is not a normal happening. Sarah brought him in and laid down with us. It was nice…even when he spit up in the bed…twice. I dozed on and off for a while. It was nice.

I glanced at the clock and realized the alarm wasn’t turned on, but I was still fine. It was about the time I normally got up. I actually was a little early. So I showered as normal, made the Binja’s bottles and food for the day, swept some of the living room and headed out. Sarah had said goodbye in a leisurely manner about 10 minutes before we left. It was a good morning.

Traffic was extremely light…almost like a holiday morning during the school year. It was awesome. I dropped off the baby at daycare and chatted with my friends there. It was really nice. It was like a perfect spring day.

I headed to work, stopping by McDonalds to grab breakfast. I was about 30 minutes early, eating my sausage biscuit, and jamming to morning radio.

“It’s 9:00 o’clock and that was Elton John…”

Um…no, it’s 8:00. If it were nine…that would mean…I was late by 30 minutes…not early.

Sarah had brought Tony in because I had over slept. When I looked at the clock, I had only looked in the minutes, not the hour. I had been an hour late all morning. I didn’t realize it until I was pulling into work. I can’t tell you how many time in that hour and a half that I had looked at a clock and never really read it.

I felt like a tard.

If you are interested…or a nerd like me…I found this article about the origins of Father’s day.

Anyway, Father’s day was a great success at the Comer-Brown house…mostly. My folks came into town and I had Jack. There was all kinda testosterone in the house. Jack, dad, and I even made a man run to Home Depot Father’s Day morning. We were rendered to grunting and knuckle dragging the moment the automatic door opened and we were faced with lawn mowers and power tools. SMELL THE MUSK LADIES!!!

We did have horror brunch at this place called “Mezza Luna’s”. I guess I should have known when “father’s day” and “brunch” were used in the same sentence. “Brunch” is not the manliest of meals, and then to go to a place with a foreign name that serves something very close to a quiche…real men don’t eat quiche. It was a train wreck.

We then had family over for cake…I think that could become a new tradition. Then some Wii and family time. It was a good day to be a dad.

Here is my favorite quote from the day.

“You have to be nice to dad today AND tomorrow. He has 2 sons.”

So we have decided to go out tonight for my Father’s day diner…that and we were just too tired to do it last night. So I hope you had a pleasant father’s day. I also hope you don’t need a specific day to tell your dad…or anyone important to you…how special they are.

Baseball season is over. Jack’s team lost last night. They had a better than even chance of going all the way but it ended last night. I have to admit, I’m very proud of Jack. He came along way this season. Mostly in the batting department.

Jack’s left handed. He causes the kid pitchers to handle him differently. At the beginning of the season, he couldn’t hit off kid pitchers. His mom forced him to go to a baseball camp…he’d rather have stayed home and played PSP. But we saw results. A few games ago he hit a ball over the fence…but it was foul. It amazed me that my gangly little boy caused the other team to play him deep.

So, last night, the team made some crucial errors that put us down by 2 in the last inning. Jack got up, with 2 outs and a man on 2^nd.

“It’s over” I heard our coach say. Their pitcher had struck out our best hitters. The guy on 2^nd had walked and stole 2^nd. Jack, at the beginning of the season, would have been the last out. Last night, he was 10 feet from hitting a home run. Unfortunately, it bounced over the fence, creating a ground rule double situation. If it had been a little shorter, Jack would have had a great chance of running all the way to cause a play at the plate. It didn’t happen though, and the next kid struck out. We lost by 1 point…but Jack did his job…and did it well. That’s all I can ask.

I hope he learned something from last night. He didn’t give up. The coach had…and most of us had…but he brought life back to us and did us proud. It’s a nice life lesson.

BackFlip Failure

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year’s supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported Monday.

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.

“Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,” Henriksen told the Southland Times newspaper.

About 125 scientists and staff are stationed at McMurdo base, the largest community in Antarctica, during the winter months when there is constant darkness.

The first sunrise will occur on August 20 and McMurdo’s population will start to increase again in September when supply flights resume, peaking at more than 1,000 during the summer period.

(Reporting by Kazunori Takada, editing by Miral Fahmy)

Tony had his 6 moth birthday Saturday…I guess. At some point you stop counting age by wee and go with months. If we were going by weeks…he’d be at 26 weeks and a day…which is more like 6 and a half months if you count 4 weeks in a month…but I digress.

Here are some things I’ve noticed about a 6 month old Binja…

• The darker the food he is attempting to eat, the more that will miss the bib.
• If it’s really dark food, you’ll not be able to find a bib to begin with.
• He loves people with long hair. The more hair you have…and the more tender your scalp…the more he hair he will be able to grab and pull.
• Those of us who are follicley challenged usefully get a finger up the nose.
• Once you start feeding a baby anything other than formula…his poop…changes…
• You will be amazed at the faces and sounds grown folks will make at a baby.
• You will also be amazed that said baby finds them hilarious.
• You have panic moments about who is supposed to pick up the baby on the days you aren’t the one…and they happen about 10 minutes after the day care closes.
• You wonder if other parents judge you as your child screams bloody murder in public.
• You stop caring about other parents
• You begin to believe in gremlins, fairies, talking donkeys, sneetches, and all those other things you read to your child about.
• Installing a car seat in the back of a Suzuki …in the parking lot of Target…in the heat of the day…will make you consider a home vasectomy.
• And lastly…no matter how much you need sleep, and no matter how much it pisses you off to be awake, when that little boy smiles at you from his crib at 3 am…you melt.

I love that Binja…

I’m exhausted. The weekend…which started Thursday afternoon…was filled with lots of sweat and dust. We moved the bulk of the furniture by truck Thursday afternoon. It wasn’t supposed to rain Thursday, but those little summer showers popped up making the humidity oceanic. We finished up around 9 or 10. Unfortunately Tony started coughing about then.

Tony’s pediatrician was out of town. So Friday morning I learned a valuable lesson. Emergency or walk in clinics don’t all take infants. I went to 2 before finding a third that would see Tony. It happened to be the same one I took Jack to years ago. They were great but slow. Jack had a tendency at Tony’s age to develop pneumonia any time he got a cough, so we didn’t want to hesitate with Tony. His lungs are clear, but the doctor said he heard a hint of an asthmatic wheeze at the end of each breath. Joy. So antibiotics and rest for now.

More moving Friday night with Jack… and some Wii. Wii Fit is awesome! It’s actually an exercise routine I can buy into.

Baseball…the last of the regular season…Saturday morning. We start the championship Saturday.

More moving Saturday afternoon.

Saturday evening…birthday dinner for Jack and myself at Red Robin. The birthday sundae rocked.

Sunday, guess what, more trips to the old house. One truck load at a time. My job is to fetch. Sarah has been great about unpacking.

Monday…work was exhausting…plus the cable hook up. They never come when they are supposed to. The evening was Jack’s 8^th Birthday. Wow. It hurts me to think how old he is. Tony can’t ever grow up.

No moving. But I did install a touch screen programmable thermostat… cause I can.

There are still a few things at the old house…and cleaning to do. But I’m exhausted and feel like I am coming down with some summer cold. So, goodbye for now. Hopefully I will have more fatherly advice later.

It’s been a heck of a week; I wanted to take a moment to celebrate my son’s 8^th birthday:

June 2, 2000:

It was a beautiful June day. I was about to become a father. The hospital had called us the day before and told us the room was ready…it was like turn down service. We had scheduled an induction. Jack’s mom had some high blood pressure issues during the pregnancy, so our doctor decided to get things going at 37 weeks. We had taken the class and tour. We had “the list” of necessary things. The family was in town. And Jackson Keith arrived around 3:30 that afternoon. I don’t know why, but I didn’t cut the cord. I’ve always regretted that. But he got here, a little jaundiced, but healthy none the less. It is one of my favorite days. We named him after my dad’s father “Jack”…his name was Arthur Earl, but everyone called him Jack…and the bio-mom’s uncle, Keith, how had been killed in a car crash years before.

June 2, 2008:

I have to pick up the Birthday Cake from Costco. He wanted chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a football theme. The party is at 6:00 at the gym where he plays Basketball. His mom is picking up the food and getting the gym ready. 16 boys have been invited, mostly from his baseball team. All of them will show. Jack’s just that kid that everyone enjoys to be around. He’s about to go into the third grade and is reading on a fourth grade level. He’s finding his since of humor. We laugh a lot. I’m very proud of this little guy. He’s beginning to become his own person. It’s amazing to watch. I wish I could freeze him where he is but I also can’t wait to see who he becomes.