Sympathy Pain

About a month ago, Sarah sent me this really cool link. Someone had attached a camera…some disposable job…to a park bench and invited folks to take pictures. Some were of themselves…others of things around the bench. It was like a day in the life of the bench. It was pretty interesting.

So, I got this idea. I proposed to Sarah on a park bench at our local park. I decided to take the idea of the “day in the life” one step further. I planned on attaching a camera and leaving a note explaining the connection between the bench and my family and ask people to shot away. I then planned on taking those shots and making a coffee table book for our new house. I was going to use the note as a front page of the book.

So Tuesday I set my plan in motion. I figured that would give me time to get the pictures on a disk, upload them to “My Publisher” and get the book back by mother’s day. I was outta town most of this week and it’s supposed to rain this weekend, so Tuesday had to be the day.

I dropped Tony off at daycare and swung by the park. I used some aircraft cable… it’s good to work in theatre… and attached the camera and left the note. The plan was in motion.

That evening, after dropping Jack off at his house, I raced through Wal-Mart and grabbed a couple things. I figured that would explain why it took me so long to get home. I then raced to the park…

And the camera was gone.

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - They’re proudly displayed by any self-respecting bull, but dangling big metal ones on the back end of a truck could be banned in Florida.

Metal replicas of bull testicles have become trendy bumper ornaments in some parts of the Sunshine State, but state Sen. Carey Baker is campaigning to ban the orbs.

Baker acknowledged that Florida lawmakers have more pressing issues, including huge revenue shortfalls, but said the state needs to draw a line on what’s obscene before more objectionable adornments appear.

State Sen. Steve Geller argued against Baker’s bill.

“I find it shocking that we should be telling people that have the metallic bull testicles … you’re now going to have points on your license for this,” said Geller.

Geller was in the minority. Baker’s bill to fine drivers $60 for displaying the ornaments passed the Senate. It’s now up to the House, but there’s only a slim chance that members of that chamber would pass the measure before the session ends this coming Friday.

If it were to be passed, Gov. Charlie Crist has not indicated whether he would sign it, although he has not been too critical of this and other not-so-pressing issues.

“It’s good to have some things that maybe aren’t quite as serious. Got to have a little levity,” the governor said.

A similar bill in Virginia, aimed at rubber trailer hitch replicas of human genitalia, died in committee this year.

This week has been crazy. Sunday was the day of Jack being sick. I didn’t mention that after I dropped him off I raced across town to look at a house. It was awesome. We decided to make an offer.

Monday…Work, which was a trip to the middle of the state…about 2 hours one way. Next to the emergency room with Jack and his faking dehydration (I kid…he was pretty sick). I think it was sometime Monday that they countered our offer and we countered back. I think we got Tivo that night as well. It’s awesome!

Tuesday…let’s see. Oh yes, they accepted our offer, after saying they had to take the curtains…but leave the plantain blinds. I didn’t even notice the curtains. Sarah also got a fabulous job offer. I’m very excited for her. It’s a great program to be involved with.

Wednesday…lots of paper work figuring and talking to loan officers and insurance folks. That’s also the day I found out…I have the Apnea. Dum dum dum!!! I got to play with the Binja that evening. Sarah went to help out the Shickles with the new baby and her big sister.

Thursday…inspection on the house. It is in amazing shape. Then on to pick up Jack, make fudge for the daycare’s spring fling, and Baseball. We lost 21-20. Straight from there to the sleep clinic. It’s weird sleeping with a mask that keeps blowing air up your nose.

Today? Furniture shopping at lunch…and who knows what the evening holds. We have my Grandmother’s birthday celebration tomorrow and Jack’s basketball banquet Sunday.

It’s how we roll in our house.

We had Jack this weekend. It started out great. Everybody was healty-ish. We made pizza. He won his 2^nd baseball game. We played Putt-Putt. There was a lot of Wii. It was a pretty good weekend. Until Sunday.

Jack has a tendency to have sudden illness when he doesn’t want to do something or when he’s sucking at an activity. If he has a bad day at baseball, it’s because his stomach hurts. It’s never because he isn’t paying attention. It’s never because he’s just being 7. It’s a headache…or a pain in his leg…or a tumor.

So when he was having a stomach attack while not being able to throw a Frisbee, I figured it was just his way of saying he wanted to play Wii more than Frisbee. So, Sarah and I said, we’ll go back home, but no Wii.

He seemed fine when we got home, we joked around, until it was time to go look at a house we were thinking about buying. Suddenly his stomach ache came back. Again, because we were making him do something he didn’t want to do.

Let’s skip ahead to today…for dramatic effect. The ER doctor decided he didn’t need an IV if he could keep his sprite down and pass urine at the hospital. That’s right. We were maybe 3 miles from the house when up came is breakfast. It was like that through the night at his mom’s house. His doctor was afraid he might be dehydrated today, so she had the bio-mom take him to the ER. He didn’t get an IV and seems to be doing much better.

My instincts are awesome at times.

I’m feeling better…thank (insert deity here). It was nasty. I have little energy…but I have kept food in. Tony’s doing much better…but hasn’t pooped since his last nasty diaper yesterday morning. We’re waiting…
 

It’s a Jack weekend. We had bet Sarah to the house. She and Tony came in and we started discussing our evening plans. She had picked up stuff to make pizza…which is an awesome dinner project for her and Jack. He loves doing it…and it turns out tasting amazing.
 

My allergies have gone nuts…mostly due to the lack of medicine in the last few days. I also realize I’m out of some of it. So I decide to run to the store. Jack wants to stay and play Wii. Tony is in his exersaurcer…looks like a good time for a quick trip…
 

…until I pass the Binja.
 

“Um…damn…he’s…” The smell leaves me in a Neanderthalic, monosyllabic state.
 

“What”‘ Sarah asks? At this point I really have to stop myself from shrugging and walking out the door like I had no idea what lurked below.
 

I pick up Tony, “I think…”
 

“Oh yeah…”she says, seeing a wet spot growing on the back of his camouflage outfit. “Just put him in the sink.”
 

I paused somewhere in the kitchen…and it was there that we started fully understanding what we were dealing with. Some green liquid dripped out of or son’s one-sie, sown his leg and onto the floor.

“Um…damn…”I’m very eloquent in these situations.
 

“We’ll just cut him out.” Sarah states. She’s done this before.
 

I can’t really describe what came out of that child. I can state that the “6-13lbs” on the diaper box doesn’t mean it will hold that much…but it sure tried.
 

So, we threw away the outfit with the diaper…The baby was rinsed off like a dog who had rolled in its own feces…and my nausea returned with force…but he was a much happier baby for the rest of the evening.

I’m sick…have been since Tuesday Night. Sarah’s mom had the stomach flu so I stayed home with Tony. We went to the doctor to get his 4 moth shots and check up. He’s fabulous…and pissed about the shots. Tony and I went to get Jack in the afternoon, and had a good evening…until…

You know how I said Sarah’s mom had the stomach flu…she got it from Tony. He’s had nasty diapers for a few days, blowing through 3 outfits at school Monday. So I was the first at the Comer-Brown house to have the pleasure. As Jack and I played some Madden 07 on the Wii, I thought I would play the “fart game” with Jack…unfortunately, it wasn’t a fart.

I skipped to the bathroom, letting Sarah know…”I sharted!” as I passed.

It went downhill from there. Sarah took Jack home, and I ended up on the floor of the bathroom, pants around my ankle, begging for death. I usually don’t get stomach stuff…but this is the second time since Tony’s arrival.

Sarah was blessed with a lesser form of the demon flu. So she got the awesome task of being sick AND taking care of me and the baby.

The vomiting is gone, but I still have a fever and am never more than 20 paces from the toilet.

I do have to admit, while laying in a fetal position in the bed, I really listened to Sarah interact with Tony. She’s amazing. Her tonality is just beautiful. The noises she makes with him always sound like she’s excited to be playing with him. There is never a sound of frustration or irritation, even when he is screaming for more food or going 10 rounds with the sand man. She just has an amazing way with him. I’m very blessed…and have to go…

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Originally uploaded by SarahLena

My wife added this picture to here flickr…so I think it’s ok to share.
Congrats Steve and Ronda…I can’t wait to meet her. Get some rest and let us know what we can do.

Our friends Ronda and Steve are having their 2nd little angle angel today. Good luck.

I wish I could spell…

8:00pm

So…it started off pretty rough. We tried to go look at houses between 6:30 and my 8:00 appointment for the sleep study. Tony would not have it. Usually, after a few minutes crying in the car, he nods off. Not this evening, ladies and gents. He let us know everything he thought of us dragging him along from house to house. We were only doing drivebys tonight, but he still was pissed at us. He cried for a solid half hour until finally we threw in the towel and Sarah took me to my appointment.

So here I sit. In a room about the size of a cheap hotel. It’s nice though. The bathroom is almost as big as the sleeping area. I have a tv with vcr…but no remote. There is a gazillion wires coming out of a control panel next to the bed. I think there is a plastic fitted sheet…probably with sensors…on the bed. And a camera with infrared LED lamp. I have no idea how long before she comes in and hooks me up. I so look forward to it.

9:00pm

Ok…so I’m lying in bed…kinda drifting. I’m waiting for someone to come back to hook me up…and not in a good way, when I hear from over head…

“Mr. Comer…” There’s an intercom above the bed.

“I need you to set up and look at the camera. I need to get a picture.”

So I set up. The robotic camera swivels around.

“Smile.” If just having the camera in the room wasn’t enough, they had to make sure I knew it was there…and moved. Creepy.

9:45pm

Patty comes in to hook me up. There’s a wire down each of my pants legs with 2 electrodes per leg…can’t wait to rip the tape off tomorrow morning. There are 2 electrodes on my chest, and what feels like 8 on my face and scalp. Plus the pluse ox on my finger and the air monitor in my nose.

Sleep tight.

After I get in bed and the lights are off, I have to do exercises. These tell her if everything is hooked up correctly.

“Mr. Comer,” again the voice from above, “look left, now right, no left, now right…flex your left fot 3 times…now your right”…and so on. A voice in the dark…and I’m being filmed…normal night for me.

5:00am

“Mr. Comer. It’s time to get up.” And we had to do the aerobics all over again. I slept o.k. Woke up a few times more than I would at home, but it wasn’t bad.

Patty came in and removed all the connections. “You wife is right…you do snore.” I almost didn’t take a shower there…until I ran my hand through my hair and felt all the crap. I took the option of a shower and left.

I go to the doc in two weeks to see if I have apnea or not. If so, I have to do another sleep study.

Yawn.

I’m going to my sleep study tonight. I’ve been thinking it was tomorrow night for a week. I had figured out my schedule around getting to the hospital at 8:00 pm and being there until Saturday morning…until they called to confirm this evening’s appointment. So…um, I guess tonight it is.

I can’t have alcohol or caffeine from lunch on. The whiskey is not an issue, but I am jonesing for a Mountain Dew. I drink 3 or 4 a day, easily. Everything else is normal nightly routine…just in a hospital “hotel” room. They do ask that you wear clothes…pajamas or jogging pants. I wonder who showed up in the buff to make them actually put that in writing.

From what I understand, they will hook electrodes to my head and chest, with a pulse ox on my finger. No cameras…at least that I can see…then let me sleep. I usually don’t have an issue sleeping in strange places, and I even had a take home study that I slept pretty well during, so I think this should go pretty easily. I’ll fill you in tomorrow.

I’m excited to pin down my sleeping issues. I know Sarah will be. If I have Apnea, I’ll get the C-pap. I figure it will take some getting used to…having a Darth Vader mask on while I sleep, but hopefully it will allow me a better nights rest. And Sarah, for that matter. It will also give me more energy, which comes in handy with the 2 boys. I also hear chick dig the mask…

Our DVD player broke. At first I was pissed. I had to plug in my son’s “Spongebob” dvd player in order to watch “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.” I couldn’t figure out how to make it stop throwing up Spanish translations of any signs in the movie…It was just weird.

But then, I realized I could get a dvd recorder/vcr combo. I had wanted one for a while, but couldn’t justify the purchase. But now…can we say passive aggressive?

So, before the old DVD was cold from its demise, I was at Best Buy.

Sarah is at book club, and the binja is asleep, so I’ve been copying old home movies over. I’ve found jack’s first basketball tournament. He couldn’t get the ball to the goal. It was awesome. They won the chamionship that year, too.

I also found a tape Jack, Sarah, and I did about the time I moved in with Sarah. We played interview. We laughed alot…especially when jack passed some butt thunder on camera.

Now I’m watching a movie from his 2nd birthday. That seems like another life. All his bi-gillion cousins from bio-mom’s side. All of them like I remember…young. Jack like I don’t remember him…little. It’s just insane. I haven’t watched these…probably since they were made. And, yes, I’m making a copy for his mom as well. I’m just that kinda guy.

I know it was my previous world, but it’s cool to see Jack when he was 2. I think Tony looks just like him. Maybe it’s time for you to dust off the old beta max tapes and take a sojourn down memory lane.

Jack would shake his head from side to side until I thought his brain would flop out…maybe some did. He did it because he got a reaction. I would laugh and mimic him. We’d play that game for what seemed to be hours.

Tony roars. It’s awesome. He did it with Sarah first…and it startled her. It has that affect on you the first time you hear it. I did a double take, even though I was warned. It’s very cool. He’ll just look at you and roar. It’s this low roar in the back of his throat.

So I wondered…could it be something deeper.

What is his sign? He’s a Sagittarius…um that’s the archer. I can’t make that work. Maybe it’s like a hunter roar…no. Here’s what I did learn…

Sagittarius is classed as a Positive or masculine, extrovert sign; its element is Fire and its Quality is Mutable. Sagittarius is ruled by the planet Jupiter.

What about the Chinese zodiac? 2007 is the Year of the Pig. Um…that would be one scary pig…but maybe a boar.

In Chinese culture, the pig is associated with fertility and virility. To bear children in the year of the pig is considered to be very fortunate, for they will be happy and honest.

So I don’t know if it’s anything deeper than just a long, drawn out, grunt…but it’s still pretty cool.

And…Congrats Jayhawks!

Here’s one of my e-mail updates…good info.

Ten surprises of new fatherhood
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

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At some point not long after the baby is born, just about every new father gets hit with a sharp jolt of reality: He’s a dad — with new responsibilities, new pressures, and new expectations to live up to. This seemingly basic epiphany comes early for some of us, before we leave the hospital. For others, reality may not set in for a few days. Sooner or later, though, we all come to realize that our lives have changed forever. Sometimes the changes are subtle, sometimes not so subtle. But they’re almost always surprising.

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