Sympathy Pain

Let me paint a picture. You have just brought this angel home from the hospital. She is so little, helpless. You are very gentle with every movement and touch. Even her whimpers make you smile and almost cry.

Now, another picture, 6 weeks without sleep. Life has caught up to you. Bills, work, normal life…plus baby. The family has left, so your support is gone. It’s just you, your spouse, and this…creature. You’d love to tell everyone how much you’ve bonded with your baby…but the fact is you haven’t. You’re not even sure you like this thing. You haven’t touched…or been touched by…your spouse in weeks. The baby won’t stop crying, and it’s a different cry than that little one in the first days. This feels almost personal. Like nothing you do is good enough. Tonight, it’s just you and the demon spawn. Finally, she has quited down, after hours. You begin to set down, relax, and something happens…a dog barks, thunder, phone rings…and the baby explodes. You stomp your toe on the baby gate, almost break you neck, get to the child madder than a hornet, and… (more…)

He’s still sad from last weeks defeat…

I have been a Fantasy reader since my aunt gave me 3 Piers Anthony books about 20 years ago. It has made me a Satan serving, degenerate. I have a history of killing kittens…and puppies in a pinch.

Ok…I kid. I was reading about Allison’s site and she mentioned JM’s book burning incident . It has always amazed me when people get crazy about books…works of fiction…and there contents. Nine times outta ten, they will not read the book, and judge it anyway. They swear it is against god…by the cover. Every time a Harry Potter book came out, the crazies would come out.

I want my sons to read good literature…and some trash if they want. It’s reading. And it’s fiction, did i mention that? I learned alot from science fiction/fantasy. Did you know that your shadow will always point out the direction to a rainbow? It has to do with the laws of refraction that causes a rainbow. It will always be away from the sun. Fantasy writers taught me that.

And let’s talk about the books they would have us read. I mean…who has really read the old testament? If we cut out any book that referenced none biblically sound views…wow, the classics that would disappear. And every Disney Movie made in the last 50 years would be out.

So, as a father, I really want my sons to be open minded. I want them to enjoy reading, and be taken away to different lands and lives that come from authors of all types.

book burning, Piers Anthony, Harry Potter

When does a child begin to develop his own sense of humor. My kid has been silly for years. That’s not waht I am talking about. I mean the type of humor that will continue through life. I have a very dry wit…most of the time…and a very quick mind. So i have been watching.
“Hey Jack…what do you want for dinner?” I was expecting “pizza” to be the answer…or Chick-fil-a. They have a play fort.
“I don’t know. how about Sonic?”
I had Pizza on the brain, So I say “How about Pizza?”
There is a pause.
“What did you say?”
“Pizza”
“Could you say that again, I just want to make sure you said what I thought you said”
I grin…”Pizza”
“Ok…I just don’t think you’ve ever suggested that before.”

No, It’s not Eddie Murphy…but it’s a start. It’s great to see his personality begin to grow into the next stage.

personality, Pizza, humor

personality, Pizza, humor

My ex-wife worked for the OB/GYN clinic that delivered Jack. Her cousin was one of the other doctors in this practice. If you are using a OB who is a part of this type of practice, know that he may not be the one who delivers.
Usually, about the 3rd trimester, you will start seeing other doctors in the practice when you have your appointments. This allows you to meet them before your water breaks and they are in the Johnny Bench position. It’s standard practice to have whoever is on call when you go into labor, deliver.
Well, the ex didn’t want her cousin to deliver…family shouldn’t see your virginia. So John, our doctor, elected to induce on a weekend he was on call. She also had some elevated blood pressure, but the real reason was his rotation schedule.
So we are shopping at “Babies R Us when the hospital calls.
“Your room is ready when you want to come by”. It was like dinner reservations.
We strolled over and set up that night. They came in around 4 am and started the pitocin. Shortly after 4:00 pm, Jack was here.

So, Sarah ask her doctor about induction.

“I don’t induce on the first baby. I let the body tell you when your ready.”

um…She’s not happy. She wants the sperm infection out of her body.

So, Sudie mentioned how much is sucks to change sheets in a crib with the bumpers. Sarah, my fabulous wife who says she doesn’t need my readership, has found this changeable sheet system. It looks like a great idea. Most of the reviews are positive, with one saying the zipper is poorly made.
Anyone use these? I’m curious.

We went to our first birthing class at Hunstville Hospital today. We opted for the 2 longer Saturday classes than the 6 week class. It wasn’t bad. Basic postpartum information. How the baby will look…which is like a smurf. What kind of things are normal (Baby zits and cradle cap…yum). What will we experience at the hospital and when we bring the baby home. Some breathing exercises and how to push. The class is actually a good way to introduce new parents to the basics. There are tons of questions to ask…that you don’t know you need to ask. They provide a list of things to pack…very helpful. She also talked us through terms that we will hear, like effacement and station, so we aren’t scratching our heads in the delivery room. There was also a comparison between vaginal birth and cesarean. It’s a lot of information that parents need to know before the contractions start.
Next week we watch some movies about actual births and take a tour of the hospital. I know the tour was very helpful in Atlanta…it was a huge baby making hospital. And we will learn where you can take the baby. Tony will have a house arrest bracelet on, and if anyone takes him to close to an exit or restricted area, alarms go off , elevators shut down, and the doors won;t open. Pretty cool.
Now, a lot of this could have been learned in a book, or talking with the doctor, but these classes really give you a chance to absorb everything that’s about to happen. They also give you a chance to met other pregnant couples. It was nice to see Jamie and her husband there. I also met Clint, who also is a theatre teacher (ok I use to be one) and his wife Jessica. There were many more…but I suck at names.

birthclass, postpartum, hospital, huntsville

This is something that Sarah and I have talked about. Rather or not there should be a time limit of some type on marriages. Well, this Bavarian politician thinks there should be.

“The basic approach is wrong … many marriages last just because people believe they are safe,” she told reporters. “My suggestion is that marriages expire after seven years.”

What do you think? Come on…speak up.

Nice alliteration…but really, this bit of news was brought to me by an unlikely source…my Dad. He was the “bring home the bacon” dad, and never really involved in the child rearing decisions.
So, when we are talking about football and he ask about the gifts from the baby shower, I was a little sidetracked.
“Everything is put away…and we have a mattress for the crib, ” and with that, I get ready to go on to something else.
“Do you have those crib bumpers” he asks.
“We will.”
“Well, I saw a news story saying those are dangerous. The baby can roll over against it and suffocate.”

Wow, this may be the first “baby advice” from my dad.
And, as you all know, I had to look this up. And yes, there are studies showing that these bumpers have been linked to infant deaths.
Sarah and I talked about this, but since she had just won a very bloody battle on Ebay for a crib set, she will have bumpers…

It’s about to be really busy in the Comer/Brown household. I know that when things get rockin, I have a tendency to not take the best care of myself. It’s a tragic flaw.
So I decided to take the reigns and make a doctor’s appointment. Make sure all my allergy meds are up and running. Ask about my little pains and aches. I thought it was a good way to get a tune up before I become a full time poppa again. I think every dad to be should do this a few months from birth.
Well, my Body Mass Index is 25.3%, which is 5% over the high end of optimal(I’m chubby). My cholesterol is 236…200 is high end, and my triglycerides (?) are over 300…100 is high(Too many sausage biscuits). And my thyroid is alittle over active.(I have no idea)
I’m glad I went…I have some ways to make myself healthier. It’s Sarah, Jack, and Tony that I went for…but it’s me who now has to do something to get my health on the right track. Tonight I begin by sleeping with an apnea tester up my nose and a pulse ox on my finger…to make sure my snoring isn’t something more…
I will be sleepy tomorrow.

“If mothers ruled the world, there wouldn’t be any god -” she said when the sound went dead and the camera suddenly turned away from the stage so viewers would be distracted. Chopped off were the words “goddamn wars in the first place.”

I have to say I am not a Sally Fields fan. She actually annoys me on film…unless she is playing mentally disturbed people…or a flying nun…then she’s great. Yes, I even hated her in Steel Magnolias. But what she said…and was censored…got me thinking. Why is this a general thought among the fairer sex?

Is it because their grief is more when a son or daughter is lost? Do mothers hold the market on the pain of loosing a child? I’ll never be a mother, but I get the same cold chill and sick stomach every mother gets every time I think of something happening to Jack. I find this is generally blown off with the phase “But you didn’t go through nine months with him in your body.” True, I did not, but I was there when he took his first breath. I was the first, other than the doctor, to hold him. There were days that the only reason I got out of bed was him.

And lets look at women rulers throughout history.

Medea…now the story may have been just good drama, many tails have her deserting or killing her children to spite the king. Obviously, the maternal instinct didn’t help her children.

Cleopatra- Had children with both Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony. We see how many wars and battles occurred because of her whims. Having ovaries didn’t stop her from being ruthless.

Queen Victoria…who married her cousin…and had the longest reign of any English monarch, virtually disappeared after Prince Albert died, leaving the thrown relatively uninhabited, and her country without a queen. Lets not forget he Crimean war took place during her reign…she did have some help from Napoleon…

And lets not forget Margaret Thatcher. She was a mother of twins. Under her, Great Britain, during the 1981 Iranian Embassy Siege, for the first time in 70 years British armed forces where authorized to use lethal force. also, she allowed 10 political prisoners to starve to death during a hunger strike, stating she could not give in to demands that they have their rights returned. Not very “motherly”.

My point is, just because you are a parent, rather mother or father, the world is a very heavy thing to have on your shoulders. I realize that some of the women listed above were just figure heads or even fictionally presented, but others still either saw the necessity of war or were selfish enough not to care. There are lots of mothers out there that do awful things to their children, and believing that one in power would be incapable of the same thing to an entire nation is short sighted at best.

I am considering voting for Hilary…so I’m not anti woman in positions of authority, I just don’t think that having mother’s “rule the world” would change anything…other than there may be nap and cookie time every day. I kid.

Should you invite only women, or should you invite the men too?
It depends on the expectant mother. The baby shower is traditionally for her. But couples baby showers are fun too. So ask the mother-to-be what she prefers. Some may not feel as comfortable with other men there. OR she may like having her own husband there (who might enjoy the shower) and would enjoy having other couples there also. The expectant parents might be close friends with a several other couples, so a couples shower would be a lot of fun. Most baby showers have only the women there, but ask the expectant mother what she would enjoy the most.

We had our first baby shower. It’s strange to be a man in the world of a baby shower. Traditional, it’s woman ground. There’s games and food…both of which I like…and presents that I get to figure out how to put together. I probably wouldn’t have been there, our friends are very strict on traditional etiquette, except for the fact that my father chauffeured my grandmothers and mom, and therefore, invited himself. So I went as well. Now, I’ve always wondered why the shower is “women only”. It seems that this “baby” thing is a group endeavour, and the gifts will be for the baby or the care givers…plural, but most people I talk to have a “women” only shower. I guess we men have perpetuated that by traditional sucking at baby gifts. Any way, we were surrounded by good friends and family, and Tony has stuff now. It was great.
Thank you to all who came. You’ve made our lives easier.

Graco Children’s Products Inc.
Attn: Consumer Services
150 Oaklands Boulevard
Exton, PA 19341

To whom it may concern,

First, let me begin by saying this is not a complaint about your products or services. I have used Graco Brand products for 2 children now and have been completely satisfied. Your web site is extremely informative and easy to navigate. As a whole, I have been very pleased with your company.

Having said that, I would like to inform you that your slogan insults me as a father. “Ask Moms Who Know” creates a sexiest image that fathers have nothing to do with choosing and utilizing the brands used for a child. I find it to be quite the contrary. First of all, with my wife at almost thirty weeks, we have had our first shower. Because of the pregnancy, she will not be the one assembling the products manufactured by your company. I, as the father, will be the one to attest to the ease of assembly, not the “mom”. Secondly, as a father in a household with both parents working, I will be equally involved in the child’s day to day activities, which will obviously involve your product. And lastly, in an age where more and more “nontraditional” families are occurring, I would think your company would realize that more and more men are becoming primary care givers to infants and children.

Again, I like your product. However, I believe you are alienating and insulting your male customers buy choosing the slogan “Ask Moms Who Know.”

A father,

Bryan Comer